PET Scan Results

On Monday November 4th. I received a phone call that nearly knocked the wind out of me.  One of my doctors told me that the Scan came back saying that cancer had invaded my bones. What??? How could this be? It certainly grew quickly.  It showed in my hip bones & in various places in my back. The doctor said that I would have an appointment with my 'body doctor' the oncologist on Tuesday as he would be in Escanaba.  I was not expecting to hear those results. I was hoping to hear, everything was clear & we would go ahead with our initial treatment plan.  This totally threw me for a loop. I tried to act as normal as possible for the sake of my kids but if you know my kids, you know they are not easily fooled & are quite intelligent like their daddy.  Sadie could sense something was off right away & tried to stay as close as possible to me.  The other 3 went about their business & I think were afraid to ask any questions.  We ended up having a late dinner that Adam picked up as he drove home. And to think I was actually planning on cooking some things that my mother in law had prepped for us.  Me cooking a meal for my family would have to wait until another day. I called my parents & told them. After talking with them I called my sisters & messaged a few other people knowing I would need some extra prayers to get through the night.  It ended up being a rough night in our house.  The baby kept half waking up crying. She finally ended up in our bed to help her sleep so we could sleep. Morgan was coming down with a cold and was coughing terribly. I ended up having to take her to the living room to give her a breathing treatment & had to wait until she was done, then tuck her back into bed. When I finally laid my head on my pillow again all I could do was pray until I finally fell asleep.  All the what ifs going through my mind were crazy. I want to trust Jesus through this whole thing but those results hit me hard.  I was exhausted but still got the kids up & ready for school. Then I laid on the couch to rest until the baby woke up.  I couldn't really sleep but tried to rest. The doctor office called to schedule my appointment at 1:45. That was a long time to wait.

At the appointment we went through the Scan results, didn't look at the images but things were explained a bit more than on the phone and we had to discuss a new treatment plan since the initial one would not apply.  Right now the cancer feeds off of estrogen. And since my body has been in a state of high estrogen after having Sadie & nursing her, we need to bring the levels down to zero.  That is done with a shot once a month. It will pretty much put me into menopause at the age of 37 and is supposed to put the cancer cells to sleep.  They can't remove them since they have attacked my bones but they can put them to sleep.  My doctor suggested that we could have a 2nd opinion but we didn't know if that's what we wanted to do.  After talking to a few others & them saying that we should get a 2nd opinion I started working toward that today.  I spent the morning resting, another less than stellar night of sleep to thank for that. And a mind racing. I was reading scripture and praying and I finally broke down & just sobbed.  My mother in law came to help out, made something for Sadie & me to eat & then she left. My parents showed up soon after and we talked. Cried a little, and decided, with texts to Adam, that I would go for that 2nd opinion in Ann Arbor.

The following is an except from the Guide to Metastatic Cancer "Moving Forward with Hope".  It starts out by saying something like, now that you've had a chance to process the news your doctor gave you here's what you need to know.

"But you'll soon see that life goes on-- even with metastatic cancer. Remember: Although it may not be curable, metastatic cancer is treatable, and you can live many years with the disease, just as you might with a chronic condition such as heart disease. So that special birthday, your child's wedding, the birth of your grandchild...don't count it out."

Today I spent grieving. As my dad said, "tomorrow we fight!"  I get that the cancer can wake up any time for any reason BUT God can perform a miracle and completely remove all cancer cells that the doctors are unable to. He can reverse the damage done to the bone. I believe in miracles and I'd really like to see a PET scan show that I am completely cancer free!  We still need tons of prayers.  We still need people who believe in miracles to hold us up in prayer, to fast & pray on our behalf, to call out to God to heal this earthly body of mine.  We still need help from those around us for tasks like laundry, yard work, picking kids up & dropping them off, meals, cleaning, etc  I do have pain in the areas of my hips and back where it has damaged the bone but I will not allow that to take me down.  I'm praying that I don't only get a few years with my family but several years to be with them & do God's work.  I'm not done with the tasks he's had me working on.  My husband needs prayer. Constant prayer as he processes everything & tries to make decisions for what is best for our family.  My children need prayer. They have what ifs too and a child shouldn't have to think about those what ifs if they don't have to.  So please keep praying.  God hears. God knows. And he most certainly cares about us.

Tomorrow I get the first shot to decrease the estrogen in my body.  And I hope to hear that we have an appointment in Ann Arbor next week. That means I'll be packing soon and travelling so I'm not sure how the updates will happen but my whole family needs your prayers. Encouraging words, cards, etc.  We need to continuously be lifted up and interceded for in hope & belief that God will answer with a miracle.  We may  not get back with all of you but we appreciate all that you do. There is power in prayer so please continue it.  Thanks so much!

One more thing. I was reminded of the story of Gideon from the bible during the time I was processing this information.  If you are unfamiliar with this story it is found in Judges 6 I believe.  Gideon was in charge of an army. He was told to send some of his soldiers back home.  He didn't have very many soldiers to begin with but he did what God told him to.  In the end, he had 300 soldiers to fight this massive army with.  The whole reason God did it this way was to show Gideon, the army, & everyone else that God is the one that won the battle, not Gideon, not the army because they were greatly outnumbered.  I know that God has a plan for me. I don't know what that plan is right now, nor do I always like the way it plays out but I trust God. I trust that he has my best interest at heart.  Perhaps God will use me to show a mighty miracle & bring more people into His Kingdom. A miracle that only HE could perform since the doctors say that this cancer is not curable but just treatable.  Just like he conquered the HUGE army that fought against Gideon's 300 men, he can conquer this cancer.  My hope is in Him and what He can do. Some days or times my family & I might lose site of this. That's where our prayer warriors, YOU all come in. Keep lifting us up in prayer, keep believing in God's healing touch, keep sending us scriptures to read & pray.  If you feel comfortable posting a prayer on Facebook for us to read, please do so. If you would like to send us one in a private message, please do so.  We read them all. I have been praying several of them over & over again. We are just unable to message back to everyone since we still have 4 kiddos to care for & things to learn & process.  We appreciate your time, your love, kind words, cards, prayers, & well, everything you are doing for us.  We are very blessed!!!