My Ann Arbor Appointment has been moved up to this Friday. We have to head down early, after I get the next shot of the estrogen decreasing stuff. My appointment is early Friday morning. I am trying to bring everything I can think of, we made sort of a timeline of events to see if that helps out. And we're unsure whether they will do any other tests. So here's the prayer request we have. We are seeking God's path for us in all of this. Our plans have changed. Even if we were on the path God had us on before, things have changed & we are trying to regroup & seek God's perspective on this. We need prayer, clarity to see God's path for us. The neat thing is that my Nov 30th devotion had the statement "Talk with me about whatever is on your mind, seeking My perspective on the situation." How fitting right? And then the sermon on Sunday was talking about how we make plans. And plans can be good. but sometimes those plans get changed by something unexpected and we have to regroup and ask God for his direction. Isaiah 55:8-9 says "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." So since God sees the big picture and he knows what's best for us, it's important for us to seek his will, his perspective, his direction, his way. That's what we need prayer for. And this reminder is wonderful too. Jeremiah 29:10-11 This is what the Lord says, "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back tho this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you home and a future. And even though some days are easier and some are harder than others, I cling to these 2 verses. I think I learned them when I was really young because my parents had a record, yes I said a record, with a song that was written from these verses. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
I will be honest with you..yesterday and today were especially hard for me. Even to the point that I have had a hard time even eating. Probably lost a few pounds. What is my problem? Well...the "what ifs?" I've been thinking about this Ann Arbor appointment and what happens if they tell me more bad news? Or there is nothing different they can do to help me? Or well....who knows. But for some reason it has me all worked up and I think it is satan trying to work his way into my head. Today I spent most of my day battling mind games. So you can add that to your list of prayers we could use. That the mind games cease and are not allowed to even enter our minds. It's a place I don't want to be again, that's for sure. Thankfully I have an amazing, loving, faith filled mom that talked with me for 2 1/2 hours and pretty much told me that I can't allow for these thoughts to even enter my mind. What difference does it make what the doctors say or don't say? She reminded me that I've already put my trust and my hope in Christ and the healing I believe he's going to bless me with. There are so many of you praying for God's blessing on my body and I'm asking for God's will to be shown to us and for us to follow his path. She reminded me of these things and said that I need to just focus on God. Of course she's totally right. So I prayed that God would help me refocus on Him and not the what ifs.
Our Thanksgiving was quite nice. My sister Rachel came up from downstate and was a gem & stopped at Ikea to pick up the sideboard we were looking to get and put in our dining room like a buffet table. I've been searching for this piece for a long time and finally came across it on my favorite organizer's site. She has one and it was exactly what I was looking to do with it. So Adam spent some time picking things up in the early morning before most of us were up & then he put the sideboard together because 'some assembly was required'. More like all assembly. He did a great job & it's so wonderful. I have started filling it with the placemats & tablecloths but have not finished with everything I plan to put in it. I've still got to collect all the stuff that is in a few different places. And I'm really hoping that it takes Sadie a long time, like really long time, to figure out how to open the doors. They are quite easy to open & I really am not looking forward to her taking everything out to play with it.
My parents brought a turkey over & cooked it in the Nesco roaster. It turned out great. My sister Natalie came over & cooked up a storm. My Gram also joined us & made a delicious layered dessert. I think this was by far Gabby's favorite.
We used to make our wish lists out from the Black Friday papers late at night on Thursday after we had eaten ourselves silly and spent time hanging out together. Not anymore with the way they have changed things & now the stores all rush to be the first to open & take your money. I honestly didn't find a whole lot that we needed or even wanted. I made a short list and sent it with my sisters who decided to brave the crazy people & head to a few stores. I was totally ok if we didn't get any of the things on the list. Adam headed to bed kinda early since 5:30 am comes quickly and that's what time he had to work on Friday. :( The kids & I decided to watch some Dragons: Defenders of Burke episodes since it is one of the shows we watch together. We had just finished watching 2 episodes when Morgan ran to the basement to get the cup she left down there and she came back to tell me that the floor was wet. Oh crap I said. That means the sewer was backing up. I told the kids not to flush the toilet and headed down to see the damage. While down there I could hear the toilet flush despite my warnings. Ugh. I yelled up the stairs. Don't flush the toilet. It was Braly & of course it is just auto-pilot to flush after using the bathroom. I was frustrated but not mad. I heard Morgan telling him that mom said not to flush. What do you think happened next? You probably guessed it. She went into the bathroom and she ended up flushing the toilet. By this time my mom had called to say they arrived home safely & I was raising my voice...yelling, at the kids not to use any water. I was trying to explain to them that each time water went down the pipes, it had to come back up somewhere because there was a blockage. My dad so wisely advised shutting the water off of the toilets and I hung up the phone & recruited 2 girls to help me in the basement. We had to move all the things in the way, just in case it got worse for some reason. And we had to clear out the area where the drain cleaners would work. Which happens to be our laundry room as well. Clean clothes were hauled upstairs. Dirty ones moved to a different location & up off the floor. I was annoyed & frustrated that this was happening again, even after we had dumped copper sulfate down the pipes to help kill the roots. oh well. I had a choice. be annoyed & angry or do what all my devotions had been telling me to do for the last few weeks....be thankful. So I literally started saying things I was thankful for out loud.
I was thankful for
~2 girls that were helping move things without complaining.
~a son who was upstairs taking care of a crying Sadie & keeping an eye on a foster cousin
~that the mess wasn't as bad as it was the first time this happened just 2 years after we bought the house (I think it should have been disclosed but it wasn't)
~that Adam had already gone to sleep before this happened because he would never have gotten a decent sleep because he would have been worried. As it was he woke up to use the bathroom & came back to bed and asked how bad it was.
~Gabby's willingness to make signs to post on the sinks, toilets, and shower.
~that I had pain meds that were working so I could move things
~I was EXTREMELY Thankful for a set of willing hands from a wonderful lady from church who came over on Friday after the drain cleaners came & she cleaned, bleached, & scrubbed everything. I felt bad asking her to do this but ever so thankful for her!!!
~limited damage.
~wise advice to shut water off to toilets
~I'm sure my mom was praying (she always does).
~and that it wasn't too stinky. My girls laughed at this one.
They had actually asked me what I was doing when I started saying these things and I told them that I was trying to seek God's view & be close to him because I had a choice to make. I think I chose wisely but had I not been seeking God over the past few weeks and practicing being thankful, I'm not sure I would have made the same choice that night.
It turned out that it was a bunch of roots again. Probably from the crazy tree in the neighbors yard that doesn't really give us any shade but finishes dropping its leaves after the sweeper's last round of the neighborhood to pick them up. It causes branches to fall all the time, & roots in our old drippy pipes. So now we've got it scheduled in the budget to be done in the fall each year. Less of a headache & better that way. I'd rather pay them to do their job than to have to scrub & sanitize that junk.
I'd love more prayer to relieve the pain I've been experiencing the last 2 days. I think that always contributes to the mind games and since I've made this link, I'm going to try to figure out what to do if it happens again so the mind games don't happen & drain me worse than the pain already has. This evening I've got pain on my left side, under my arm and I've never had pain there before. I'm not sure whether I pulled a muscle or if it is something else so I just commit it into God's hands & leave it there.
Today we got to celebrate our sweet Morgan who turns 7 years old tomorrow. (Adam will be working late so today was the best day to celebrate this girl who deserves to be celebrated!!!) She is a delight to have in our family...most of the time. haha She reminds me so much of my baby sister Natalie that I laugh. Sometimes my laugh is out of frustration but in all truth....my sister Natalie has an ENORMOUS heart, she's trustworthy, reliable, great to work with, persistent, loves God, and so much more. If Morgan turns out like her, she will be an awesome adult. In the meantime, Adam & I have our work cut out with this one. She is easily distracted, yet when you tell her she's going to get a consequence, she happens to know exactly what you've been asking her to do the last several times. Amazing how that works. When given a few things for her to do, she starts out great & gets distracted sometimes between task 1 and 2 but more often it's after the 2nd or 3rd task, even if they are simple. Her sweet mind is always a buzz with other things she'd like to do or check out or think about. It's always a challenge to get her to accomplish tasks. She's got the cutest smile, the best hugs & kisses. Her heart is in the right place for just about everything. She's just a sweet girl and Adam & I are thrilled that God blessed us with her 7 years ago. We walked a different path when she was born. Our plans to bring her home after just a short, normal hospital stay were changed & we walked the NICU path in Green Bay for nearly a month. We are so thankful for her, she's simply a blessing and a miracle that God saw we needed to be a part of our family. Thankful that path was fairly short even though it was filled with many ups & downs. At one point I wasn't sure whether she'd make it since she turned blue & needed some breathing assistance. She's feisty & strong. I think God made her just that way so she would fight to survive. She is exactly how she needed to be & by no coincidence. God knew what he was doing. Now we just have to help mold her to what God is calling for her to do with her talents, gifts, & what she has a passion for. He designed her special & for what, I'm not sure yet but we enjoy her!!!!
I told you this one was going to be long. So to wrap up the prayer requests...
1. Ann Arbor appointment will go as God plans
2. For God to reveal to us the path he has for us & help us walk it
3. That the pain subsides or is under control
4. No matter what goes on, that the mind games will stop & not be a constant battle
5. Our minds will be filled and focused on God and His will
6. Complete healing despite what the doctors say or can offer with treatment.
7. I have been praying that God will bind the cancer from spreading & cause it to die & be removed from my body
8. That God will also heal the damage already done to my bones
9. And if it's his will, to allow me to grow to be an old lady, unless he sends Jesus to come for all who have asked him into our hearts.
10. Pray for hearts to be prepared for God's work to be done from seeds that have been planted.
If there is something you have need of prayer for and you are okay sharing, please leave a comment & I will pray for you. We have an amazing God who is BIGGER than anything we are going through. My aunt stopped by at just the perfect time yesterday and reminded me of that. She went out of her driving way to make a rather large circle because she felt that God was directing her over to see me. I must say that I never expected it but I truly needed her hugs and prayers & words of encouragement. God knew and he provided before I even knew. He really is BIGGER than everything! I urge you to seek him. If you are near Escanaba and need a church, please join us at New Life Assembly of God. Services at 9am and 10:30 am. We'd love to see you there! Oh...2 of my kids will be in the UnGrinched play on Dec 15th so come watch. It's gonna be really cool & has a great message! More info at .http://newlifeescanaba.org/
Praying for safe travel to U of M. Father God we pray for your plans, path, the right Dr's, nurses, staff for this visit. John 4:18 Perfect Love Cast Out All Fear...The love He has for you will never change.....it is perfect love that flows down over you to give you rest, peace, comfort and direction. We pray that you will overshadow Jeannette, Adam and children, Cheryl, Blaine, family members so they have no torment with the mind battles, but faith will arise and fear will leave. <3 to you and your family, Julie Enot
ReplyDeleteLove you Jeannette, God is so GOOD. You have a way of sharing in this blog. Keep looking up and thanking like you have...your children seeing and by you telling them how important it to be thankful. Thoughts and prayers for your journey. Carol Lantz
ReplyDeleteSave travels, Jet!! So glad they moved your appointment up! I hope they are wonderful, caring, and thorough!
ReplyDeleteNothing like a dirty job to take your mind off the what if-itis. ;) I could have seen that scene being played out in this house easily!
Happy Birthday to Morgan. Us Sagittarians are special all right. LOL!! ;) Actually your words reminded very much of the 7 yr old in this house too!!
Got that prayer list covered and then some. <3 Much love always!!
Jeanette, I pray that God leads you on a path of healing and that you can relax enough to follow the path. I had cancer right after my daughter Nicole was born and my husband suffered a heart attach and had to have surgery with in 25 days of when I had cancer surgery. Sometimes it was hard not to let that devil in with his little doubts he likes to spread. What you need is a trigger to help you remember to block that devil. When I would start with the mind games (normal so don't feel too bad) I would began to take deep breaths and say "God this is one of the times I need you to carry me" and keep this up until I felt the peace enter. Praying is good and reading the bible but sometimes we just have to take a time out and let the simpleness of being God's child take over and just let him in. Find your trigger to go to that simple and faithful place of just letting God's love spread through you and the mind games will lessen. I will continue to pray for you dear sweet Jeannette. I have always prayed for your family since the old family camp days when I met your family. God will guide you I am sure. Just relax and he will be there. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteIn tears....your faithfulness and the desire to please God and trust Him above all else is such a testimony to everyone who reads your blog....and then I read about Morgan's NICU stay. I just remember the hard time of the NICU with Seth....it does leave you grateful....we saw a lot in the NICU in the 5 weeks we were there. Hope she had a wonderful birthday!
ReplyDeletePraying continually for you, my friend. Loving reading the devotions that are touching your life....I am so glad that God brought us together.
Love,
Dawn
We pray for you and your family constantly. I walked a similar journey 18 months ago and you are SO very right that it is the "what if..." that keep you up at night. For me, after I had a course of action it was much easier to walk forward.
ReplyDeleteJeannette, I SO appreciate your daily choice to look up, and praise God in the midst of tribulation. Safe travels and prayer.
ReplyDeleteWe share a special friend, Jeanette...Sharon Yordy...she shared your story with me last night, and also this site. Prayers for travel mercies are being offered up. may God continue to be your strength and your shield. Oh yes, Gabby did awesome!!!
ReplyDelete