Overcoming Doubt

I may have written about this in the past (pretty sure I did but I'm not taking the time to verify) and that's okay. It's worth revisiting because it is something everyone deals with and it is something that I have had stirred up in the past few weeks. Doubt.  Wondering whether I will receive a supernatural healing so I don't have to have a mastectomy. Wondering whether I will finally get a clean bill of health instead of being told that this Stage 4 disease is not curable but treatable, etc.

I was talking with a friend on Sunday who was encouraging me (she thinks I was the one encouraging her but little does she know God had it working BOTH ways). Anyway, I was telling her that the reason that my faith is where it is at is because I have seen God do some amazing things in my life & in those near me.  Because I have journaled about several experiences, I was able to recall these acts of compassion from God.  With the talk about the mastectomy surgery lately, I have had feelings of doubt stirred up and I don't like them. in fact, I HATE them.  But instead of allowing them to debilitate me so that I can't function or feel helpless, I have turned to my faith in God, my savior Jesus Christ to dissipate all the junk...the doubt.

I reread "How to Overcome Doubt" by Andrew Wommack because I had it printed out. You can read it here.  And I had to laugh because I remembered a lot of it but there were parts that really jumped out at me and helped me grasp hold of the doubt, the fear, & I'm happy to say that God is helping me kick it out.  Even John the Baptist, a man who studied God's word, dedicated his life to preparing the way for God's Son Jesus to come and do his work, even John had doubt.  Anyone can doubt but the change of getting rid of the doubt happens when we put our eyes back in God's word, back on the one who can change things & who makes a difference.

Wommack states, "Overcoming doubt isn't just about feeling better; it's about getting back into faith that only comes from the Word of God (Romans 10:17)."
Romans 10:17  Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.

I am reminded that I must "come back to the place where God's Word is more real to me that anything I can see, taste, hear, smell, or even feel.  When in doubt, I must refer back to the Word of God just the way Jesus told John the Baptist to do.  And I must get my faith so rooted in God's Word alone that I can withstand a hurricane (which this disease feels like at times.)

God has sustained me before, he has shared with me, some of the promises I believe he has for my life and he is not a liar. He is and will continue to take care of me.  This doubt has to leave, the fear that I may never get a clean bill of health has to leave. God has not given me a spirit of fear but rather of love, power, and a sound mind.  His word says these things & I trust his word as TRUTH.  So I stand, firm in his arms, I stand against this disease. I stand!

I had some time to myself with no one around yesterday and I took the opportunity to pray, to cry out to God, to YELL a little and cry a little and then once I had that out, I was able to fix my eyes on the cross again.  I am so grateful that God can handle my crazy emotions and not only can he handle them but he can help me to get focused again.  Praise to the One true God, his love endures forever!
Psalm 136:1-26

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
His love endures forever.

4 to him who alone does great wonders,
His love endures forever.
5 who by his understanding made the heavens,
His love endures forever.
6 who spread out the earth upon the waters,
His love endures forever.
7 who made the great lights—
His love endures forever.
8 the sun to govern the day,
His love endures forever.
9 the moon and stars to govern the night;
His love endures forever.

10 to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt
His love endures forever.
11 and brought Israel out from among them
His love endures forever.
12 with a mighty hand and outstretched arm;
His love endures forever.

13 to him who divided the Red Sea[a] asunder
His love endures forever.
14 and brought Israel through the midst of it,
His love endures forever.
15 but swept Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea;
His love endures forever.

16 to him who led his people through the wilderness;
His love endures forever.

17 to him who struck down great kings,
His love endures forever.
18 and killed mighty kings—
His love endures forever.
19 Sihon king of the Amorites
His love endures forever.
20 and Og king of Bashan—
His love endures forever.
21 and gave their land as an inheritance,
His love endures forever.
22 an inheritance to his servant Israel.
His love endures forever.

23 He remembered us in our low estate
His love endures forever.
24 and freed us from our enemies.
His love endures forever.
25 He gives food to every creature.
His love endures forever.

26 Give thanks to the God of heaven.
His love endures forever.

God has a relentless love for me (and you too!)  Read the definition and realize how awesome that is!

re·lent·less

 adjective \-ləs\

: continuing without becoming weaker, less severe, etc.

surgery recommendation & I Will Trust in the Lord my GOD!

On Thursday, we made the trip to Green Bay to see the breast specialist and she said that the tumor has definitely gotten smaller, however, it is not small enough to do just a lumpectomy so she would recommend a mastectomy as well as taking out the axillary lymph-nodes that are involved.  Since I was the third person in her office to need a referral to the plastic surgeon, I didn't make it over there on Wednesday. Instead I have to wait to see him on August 13th to find out his recommendations.  Then we regroup with the breast specialist and make a plan for the surgery, probably early September is when both surgeons will be available to tag team so that it can all be done at once.  That may change depending on what the plastic surgeon recommends though.

With that being said, I had a little bit of a hard time with hearing that a mastectomy is recommended.  The hysterectomy recommendation didn't bother me like this one has but I am standing on God's word and his promises that he's shared with  me and I just keep reminding myself of them.

Today as I was reading this jumped out at me from Psalm 119:49 Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. 50 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

Psalm 119:38  Fulfill your promise to your servant, so that you may be feared.

Like I've said before, I know that God can remove all cancer cells from my entire body and do it supernaturally. I'm not sure when he showed me that I would be cleansed whiter than snow whether it would be before or after surgery. But I do know this, that is a promise I feel he has given to me and I plan on keeping that close to my heart.  God has never lied and he is faithful!  So I am holding onto my HOPE in Christ Jesus!  And I repeatedly say, "I TRUST you Lord!" especially when I don't understand and I don't know his timing. I still trust in him!  Without Him, I'm sure I'd be a basketcase through all of this and I that won't help me so I'm glad to have Him to lean on & trust.

Proverbs 18:14 A man's spirit sustains him in sickness but a crushed spirit who can bear?

So as I keep giving this all to God & trusting him & keeping my spirit up, that will help me. If I am in despair and have a crushed spirit, it will not help me heal.  I trust the one who made me, who saved me, who loves me, & knows what is best for me!  Do you trust him for the situation you are going through?  You can....