Happy Birthday Dad & Flashback to a year ago

Today is my Dad's birthday. Today I celebrate a strong, godly man, who is so black & white about things that it makes me laugh & makes me know where some of my no nonsense  decisions come from because many things are black & white to me as well. lol  Happy Birthday Pappy!!!  You are a great inspiration to me and I love you as BIG as the sky!  Keep on loving God & sharing about Him so more people come into His kingdom. I pray for blessings upon you & mom and that your body is healed from all the pain you've been experiencing in your body as you age & work so hard.  I know you don't put too much stock into birthdays but you really should. I say this only because it is not just a celebration of you, but that God loved you so much & created you & then drew you toward Him. Celebrate the day God blessed you with your family, your parents and your siblings! Celebrate your wife, girls & grandchildren! Have a safe trip today!

Flashback to a year ago today: I had started to make dinner for my family as I was feeling decent, not as tired as I had been feeling. I was actually feeling hopeful and then I got a call that knocked the wind out of me.  A call that told me that instead of the initial thought of Stage 2 or 3 for the breast cancer (which could be treated and gone in about 9 months total), they saw that it had traveled to my bones & was considered Stage 4, incurable but treatable.  I have been reminded of this diagnosis several times over the last 365 days. I was asked at the 2nd opinion I went to in Dec if I understood that they could not cure me but they could treat me and hoped to treat me for several years. Almost every time I heard the phrase 'incurable but treatable', I reminded myself that GREATER is HE that is in me, than he that is in the world! Why??? Because my hope is found in Christ, HE is greater than any disease or damage disease has done to my earthly body. My hope is the promise God gave me through the Holy Spirit at different times over the last year.  The promise that I will be healed.

On March 8th, I was prayed over and felt a freedom.  A few days after that, I was seeking God during a quiet time with him and asked him why he didn't remove the tumor, the Holy Spirit told me that he had removed the root of the problem and the rest would follow. That was good enough for me to keep going. During the summer, I shared about the SNOW message that God gave me, that I would be cleansed whiter than snow and I even got a verse to go along with it in the days that followed and I was reminded of a dream I had a few days before this verse came to me.  Then again I had been seeking God for an answer. I was feeling rather downhearted, not defeated but certainly not my hopeful self. I felt like my mind was racing with scenarios, with thoughts that were not from God and I kept having to pray that God would captivate my thoughts like his word says

2 Corinthians 10:5New International Version (NIV)

5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

I was really struggling and when I was praying, I kept asking God why he didn't just finish healing me like he said he would.  It's a good thing that I know God can handle my incessant questions.  I think that a part of me was questioning why he thought it was best to do it a part at a time.  I know he wants the best for me and is doing what's best for me but I just wasn't seeing the point of all this waiting for the healing to come about completely.  My dear, sweet husband has on his phone "God's Timing" each & every time he turns his phone on as a reminder.

So I headed to this 2 day training for ladies that our church was putting on. I REALLY wanted to attend 2 classes for sure. The first one being a gifts & talents class. I thought it would be neat if they gave a test so I could see where my strengths are that God gave to me. It was a long class but Adam was on nights at the time & said that he would watch Sadie for a little while until the older kids got home & could watch her while he went to take a nap before going to work later. So I happily answered all the questions with a ton of paperwork for the class and got some cool answers for the quiz.  I was thrilled that I was able to complete the whole class. It was time for dinner so with a smile on my face, I drove home for dinner with my children and to see how they were doing. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to head back to the church building for the evening session where the keynote speaker was to be teaching since I'd have to leave my kids on their own with Adam trying to sleep before work.  My kids were behaving great and they asked if they could watch a movie & told me that I should go back & listen to the sermon. So, I did what any mother in her right mind would do......NO, I did not stay home. I headed to that service and I was blessed beyond words. I shared a tiny blip of this on FB when it happened but I want to share a little more because when I told a friend about it the other day, she said, that it was really cool.

Remember the question I kept asking God?  Why wasn't he giving me the full healing all at once?  When Lisa Rodriguez started sharing from a chapter called The Groundskeeper from her new book I got my answer and it all made sense.  God is a strategist. He does things with a purpose & a plan. When He told the Israelites in Exodus 23 that he would give them the promised land, he didn't just hand them everything. He said he would drive out the enemy little by little until they became fruitful and could take care of all He had given them.  I felt as though this was the answer I had been seeking & God used Lisa to share it with me. God had told me he'd cleanse me as white as snow, He told me he tore out the root and would take care of the rest. And now he was telling me to keep trusting Him. Trust that with each portion he gave to me, once I possessed it, once I received the gift of it, he would continue fulfilling the promise of being completely healed & whole.  A quote I loved from Lisa was this, "God is a strategist, so he says he'll work with the situation until it's time for the victory! Don't listen to the enemy!"  It is time for me to possess what God has given me so that the enemy can NOT take it back.  With God, I must hold my ground & not give up.

So much of what Lisa shared hit me right where I needed it.  I believe that my husband, children, & I worked together so that I could attend this sermon. I was extra thankful that my children were so willing to allow me the time to seek God because I really needed to be refreshed.  It was like a great kick in the pants to remind me that God's NOT done!  I believe God made me a promise and I am willing to keep seeking Him & following Him to receive the end result.  So when Lisa was done sharing, I was crying. I was crying and thanking God for answering my prayers about why I haven't received the full healing yet.  I trust God and HIS timing (just like Adam's phone reminds us).  This isn't 1 step forward & 2 steps back. It is a matter of baby steps to gain the ground against the enemy & God's plan is the best one so I am thankful that when I wasn't seeing the Big picture, that He helped me remember to trust Him.

Do you have something that you've been praying about & feel as though you haven't gotten an answer.  Keep seeking God.  Keep asking Him.  And then Be STILL and allow Him to answer you.  Open your heart to what He will share with you.

One of my favorite songs right now that has a great beat as well as amazing words is called "Greater" by Mercy Me.  Folks, it's Biblical and worth remembering. Watch the video. EVERY time you feel down, or defeated, remember that the battle has already been won when Jesus died on the cross AND rose again.

1 John 4:4New International Version (NIV)

4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in youis greater than the one who is in the world.