S*** my 4 Letter Word, not what you think!

Yesterday morning I was working on some things for Braly's 10th birthday party.  We don't invite our kids' friends over every year to celebrate with us but there are certain years that I think should be celebrated with a bigger party & turning double digits is one of them.

So I was in the basement sewing a project for the party and started singing Agnus Dei by Michael W. Smith.

Alleluia
Alleluia
For the Lord God Almighty reigns

Alleluia
Alleluia
For the Lord God Almighty reigns

Alleluia
Holy
Holy are You Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

You are holy
Holy are you Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

Amen

The problem was, as I was singing, my voice started to crack because I was choking back some tears.  I kept singing because I wanted to show God my praise despite this stupid disease.  I blurted out a prayer & said something like "Lord, I trust you, and I trust your timing.  It is difficult to wait sometimes but I know that you know what's best for me & my family & I am trusting you to please give us some good news next week."  (I saw the Oncologist on Tuesday & he said that the estrogen number was less than 10 which is where we wanted it to be & where he expected it to be months ago by using the shots.  He said that if the tumor marker came down again & since the size of the tumor decreased that he would be referring me to the breast specialist for a consultation to find out about surgery)

Just as I finished praying & asking God for some good news next week, the phone rang and the caller ID showed GB Oncology.  I pressed the talk button and immediately heard my doctor's voice.  For a split second I was a little nervous at what he was about to tell me because I don't recall him calling me with good news, usually he delivers any bad news himself & lets the nurses call for the good news.  I reminded myself of the things God has showed & told me & quickly said in my head "I trust you God!"  My doctor continued to tell me that last month the tumor marker number was 148 and this month it is down to 98.  I said, "that's great!"  and I'm not sure if I said it aloud but I at least thought PRAISE GOD!!!!

I am now scheduled to the see the breast surgeon on July 31st in Green Bay.  This is a huge thing for me to share with all of you but I am praying, asking, believing, & expecting that when the doctor examines me, that there won't be anything to even remove.  That's right, I'm asking LARGLY.  I believe that I will be completely healed of cancer one day, I'm not sure if it will be completely supernatural or if it will be aided with more medical procedures but the other day when I was praying, I told God that I know he told me that he removed the root of the problem & that he'd take care of the rest but I wasn't sure what that meant exactly and I didn't know his timing.

I dreamed last week (and I hadn't been dreaming a lot lately), of piles & piles (I'm talking about an obnoxious amount) of beautiful, glistening, crystal white snow.  You know the kind where the light hits it & it just shimmers as the light reflects off of it.  It can be so breathtaking.  When I woke up that morning, I thought, whoa, what was with ALL that SNOW?  I'm soooooo not ready for that yet (After the winter we had, I think some people started to say it was a swear to say snow. Lol.  Well, I forgot that I had dreamed of that until I was praying and I felt that God told me that he'd cleanse me as white as snow. That's when I remembered my dream.

Psalm 51:7  NIV  Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

The neat thing about this verse is that after this dream a day had passed, after my prayer time & this revelation another day had passed and then my reading plan had me read Psalm 51. That's what you call a "God thing." And I LOVE it when God shares with me like that!  So I am holding onto these different things that the Holy Spirit has revealed to me in my quiet time and I am trusting God.  Some days it is harder because I feel stiff or have more low back & hip pain.  But God's name will be glorified & I remind myself that God has given me strength, healing, he's made me whole, & he keeps right on taking care of me so I just need to hang in there.