Veteran's Day

Veteran's Day
There really should be more than just one day to remember our Veteran's and all the sacrifice that they made for us in the past and in the present. Our Veteran's have not only sacrificed their lives for our freedoms but also the time with their families, the memories that often haunt them for years and years. But I will not forget the story I heard about my Grampa Kenny and when he enlisted. It is my understanding that there must have been a few lines for these young men to wait in and sign up for the branch of military that they chose. My Grampa was in one line and had struck up a conversation with another young man. As they waited they talked & talked and before it was their turn to sign, the young man half-jokingly told my Grampa that he thought he was in the wrong line. My Grampa's response was something like, I think you're right. So he got in the same line as his new friend and they enlisted in the U.S. Navy. They were dear friends until a few years ago when my Grampa went to be with Jesus in January of 2011 and that's when I heard this endearing story. I knew they had been friends for many years but to hear this story from his friend at the funeral, it meant a lot to me. Grampa never thought of himself as a hero, as most that serve don't feel that way. They are often doing what needs to be done and do it with an unselfish attitude and love for not only their own family & friends but for all of our Nation. I wish I had a pic of my Grampa in his uniform to share with you all, he was an extraordinary man.

Today I honor the memories of all who gave their lives for our Country, not just those who died during the war but ALL who served in years past as well as those who are currently serving our Country. May God's blessing be upon each and every one of you. May you have peace in your heart and your mind and forgive yourself for the lives you had to take to defend our freedom. And may each marriage that is affected by the separation of time together and intimacy and memories be strengthened through God and the bond of husband and wife be bound together with Christ.

Though I feel that thank you just simply isn't enough, it is all I have to offer. My family greatly appreciates each & every Veteran, not only on this day. Today we honor and remember. 

More Thankfulness...even through the storm

Thankfulness at this time of year seems quite fitting.  People all over are sharing at least one thing they are thankful for each day of the month so at closing of the month they will have a beautiful list of at least 30 things they are thankful for. That doesn't necessarily mean actual "things" but I think you get what I'm saying.

We headed to church this morning and decided that since it was baptism day and we didn't have anyone being baptized this time, we'd be sure to help in KidsZone. Baptism day a favorite day of mine in our church because we are privileged to hear the hearts of God's people as they share why they are being baptized, why they made the choice to obey God with this step after asking Jesus into their heart.
So it's been a few weeks since the major news of the Pet Scan revealed Stage IV rather than 2 or 3 of breast cancer.  The kids in KidsZone have known for weeks that I was diagnosed with breast cancer & they've prayed for me.  Today Gabby's video was shared with the kids & I asked them some questions before we started our lesson on compassion.  Krista used the wonderful people in our lives to share how people are showing us compassion.  It seems to make more sense to teach the lesson when we can give examples that they'll understand and make it more real & applicable to them.  After our lesson we cleared out the chairs so that we could do worship time and have plenty of space for the kids to stand & worship with songs.  But the kids were getting a little wild.  Yup, that's what happens when everyone grabs a chair & carries it to the pile to line up & they are supposed to wait for the next step.  That waiting part is hard sometimes, especially for 1st - 5th grade kids.  So I grabbed the mic and started asking questions about what we were doing next.  I LOVE singing and I really LOVE singing worship songs to God.  I wanted to share something with them so that they would "get it" on why we sing to God. How it can bring us into his presence and meet our needs in so many ways.  I wanted them to experience what I so frequently experience as I sing to God in song.  They needed a little extra encouragement to quiet down and when they did, I told them that in my devotion time for the last several days there has been a theme. I asked if any of them could guess what the theme was. My hints were "this is something we often talk about a lot at this time of year" and it starts with the letter T.  Thankful, a sweet little girl said.  That's correct!  I said, ya know it's not too hard to be thankful when we are happy & everything is going good for us but we are to be thankful even when things that we might think of as "bad" are going on in our lives.  I went on to say how God is calling me to be thankful even though I have something in my body that I wish was not there and I said sometimes and even some days it is harder than others to be thankful but what God really wants is for us to show him our hearts.  He wants for us to praise him despite our circumstances. And I said, I want for all of you to sing to God with all your heart right now. I want you to forget about what the kids on either side of you think. Don't worry about how you sound when you sing. Just sing to God with all your heart.  Of course I got choked up when I told them that I didn't like what was inside my body & I wanted it gone but I still praise God for a lot of stuff & even with this circumstance.  I then shut the mic off and set it down & went to walk away from the altar only to be stopped by my son who hasn't been feeling the greatest today.  He asked if he could pray for me. I said of course. So he held my hands & started to pray.  And before I knew it, I could feel another set of hands on my right shoulder, my back, & then on my left shoulder, and a Morgan walked up under my arm & put her arms around me.  I was praying with my eyes closed & then I just began to sing and worship God while some were praying over me. I could hear so  many of the kids singing that my heart was rejoicing. I was thrilled to hear their voices and feel the Holy Spirit's presence.  God tells us that when we are thankful and open our heart and mind to Him we will be able to feel His Presence.  Last week our Pastor talked about how Moses set up the tent outside the camp (kinda like a temple) and was in God's Presence and how he was in God's presence on the mount when he got the 10 commandments.  God is so holy that we are not allowed in his presence unless we are blameless. I am thankful that Jesus died on the cross to pay the debt for my sins so that I can seek and be in God's presence because it is a great place to be. So as we sang the 1st worship song with the kids & we prayed, God's presence was in the place. I'm positive he was touching the lives of some of the kids and I'm not sure that their lives would have been touched in this way today or that they would have experienced that moment in the same way had I not been diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer.  It's not that I'm in denial about this disease or that I really want it inside my body...I don't. But I am looking to God to thank him for what he is doing in people's lives as a result of me having to deal with this.  Do I pray every day for God to kill each cancer cell and replace them with good, healthy cells. YES. Do I believe that God will do it. Yes. In the meantime, I will try to do what I am asked by God to be a light and to be an example and to be the connection from reality to God who sometimes doesn't seem so real to kids, or even some people because we can't see or touch him like we can with so many things.  These kids are praying and praising God. They are the greatest warriors and I plan to continue doing my part, to the best of my ability, so that God can reach each & everyone one of them in such a way that they get an a-Ha moment and that they begin to own their faith so that no matter what happens, they will follow Christ.

Thank you God for using me to reach these kids to pull them into your kingdom even more. Please open their hearts so they can be real with you and learn to own their own faith. I mean that they will have such a faith in you that they will never walk away from you, not even when they are old enough to leave their parents & this church & go to college or on to somewhere else on their own. I pray that their faith in you will be strong that it will not shake when they experience trials of any size.  Thank you Lord. in Jesus' name. Amen.

Today after prayer, I was a little tired but the pain seemed to really die down in a big way & not dig it's way in to the bones of my back & hips. Being mostly pain free today so I could help Gabby finish her school project was really nice. I wish that her project wouldn't have taken ALL day Long so I could have spent time with the rest of the family.  But even the headache from the cold that has been hitting each of us was sort of whirling around in my head, I was able to help Gabby & enjoy sitting & moving in certain ways that were not hurting like that have over the last week.  I am super thankful for prayers each week. Last week when I was prayed over on Sunday, I had such a great Monday I was able to get a lot done. Hoping for another instance like that tomorrow. And praying that God's timing for when the appointment would be best to take place happens. Whether it be Dec 6th, 19th, or some other date.  Trusting God & praising Him, even through the storm.

A Prayer of Thanksgiving

I keep reading that God calls us to be thankful. He is specifically calling me to be thankful, despite what is going on in my life & in my body right now.  I am called to sing praise to God my King.  An old song but a great one from Petra.

A devotion I read today shared this One of Webster's official definitions of thanksgiving is: "a public acknowledgment or celebration of divine goodness."

I had plans to spend some time today sharing different things I was thankful for.  I can still do that but I am so sad to say I completely lost sight of God tonight.  It happened after a series of events and I was a bad mom which I feel terrible about. I have a bad temper and can get mean at times. I let too many things build up and I said some hurtful things to Morgan, even after I had explained to my kids just yesterday that within these four walls, within our home, our family, we will not tear each other down.  No excuses of anything...I messed up and I apologized to my sweet sensitive girl. She forgave me and I mean really forgave me because a little while later she finally stopped doing 'her thing' and saw that I was in a great deal of pain and she climbed off her bunk bed & asked if she could pray for me.  Her prayer was something like Dear Jesus, we love you so much and we trust you dear Jesus. My mommy is hurting and needs to have the pain go away and you can get rid of all the cancer too. She prayed for a teacher at her school that had surgery & a few other things and just hugged me & I felt terrible for how I treated her. I am thankful for a child that as easily as she gets her feelings hurt (which can happen so quickly & for no reason) she also forgives and moves on that quickly too.  It is a rare soul that can let go of hurts so quickly & be so loving & accepting of others. She has a sweet spirit and I am thankful for her, even when she makes choices I'm not pleased with, she's learning and she's a one of a kind girl. She reminds me of my youngest sister so I know she'll grow up to be a wonderful adult that everyone that knows her will be fortunate & blessed to know her.

Time to list as many thankful things as I can to get my eyes back on God. I started sinking just like Peter did when he stopped focusing on Jesus when he was walking on water.  What an amazing thing to do, walk on water, and the lesson to go with it is so helpful. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, we can get through anything, when we take our eyes off him, the distractions can make us sink & take us down.  I must focus on thanking God for everything.

This morning when I was changing Sadie, she was having a tantrum & flopping all over the place. I was being patient (unlike later in the day) and ended up pulling Sadie close to me and then singing to her. She calmed down so nicely that I was able to get her changed to move on with the next thing in our day.  So thankful that my old, impatient self had not resurfaced.

Thankful for scripture to encourage me and encourage others.
Thankful for Braly's glasses being replaced under warranty & the wonderful ladies that work there. So sweet and kind to our family.
Thankful that I could drop Braly's glasses off to him right away so he wouldn't come home with a headache today from having to wear the wrong prescription after his glasses snapped on Monday.
Thankful for a dedicated, hard working husband who is responsible & takes such good care of our family needs.
Thankful for the weekend to help Gabby get this project done since neither of us could concentrate this afternoon. Gabby kept wanting to finish reading the books she started this week.
Thankful for a family that ALL love to read, even Sadie loves it.
Thankful for a dishwasher that can be loaded & turned on each night so we have clean dishes in the morning.
Thankful for my parents & their wisdom & guidance throughout life's ups & downs.
Thankful for my sisters who are always there for me and willing to do anything I ask.
Thankful for time to chat with my sisters. We don't normally talk at night, but I really needed it & my sister made herself available & I appreciate the time we spend on the phone since we're so many miles apart.
Thankful for our home.
Thankful for friends that have diligently come over every other day to help with anything I ask for the last few weeks.
Thankful for a computer I can type my thoughts on to share with others.
Thankful for the conversation I had today with a lady here in town that said she didn't really know exactly who I was until she saw my picture last night on Facebook and then she made sure to chat with me. We had a blessed conversation. Thanks God for making that happen.
Thankful for a comfy chair at my desk
Thankful for having the opportunity to hear & see what a life changing experience Tanzania was for Mrs. Martin. Her presentation was so amazing that I had to tell my sister all about it.
Thankful for the many, many prayers & being added to so many prayer lists all over the place.
Thankful for a great doctor that has my best interests in mind (my appointment isn't official but may be moved to Dec 6th)
Thankful for a juicing machine though I have to figure out how to use it tomorrow.
Thankful for getting sleepy right now. Hoping I can be thankful for a peaceful, quiet, restful night of sleep for my entire family.
Thankful that the cold that swept through our home is nearly gone.
Thankful for the boldness of my daughter & her willingness to share the gospel of Jesus with so any via her video yesterday and that her shyness wasn't a factor for this project.
Thankful for cabbage leaves & that I can pick some more up tomorrow.
Thankful that I can take another pain pill in just about 15 minutes
Thankful that my son is so quick to get ready in the morning since he overslept today.
Thankful that even though my son complains about the things I ask him to do, he almost always does them.
Thankful that the cancer has not entered any organs or my brain.
Thankful that God is already working to kill the cancer cells
Thankful for the generosity of so many people, even ones that don't know us.
Thankful for God's word that I can use as a blueprint for all of life's situations.
Thankful for a camera to capture and remind me of memories.
Thankful for answered prayers.
Thankful for my super healthy Sadie who seems to be my shadow or connected at the hip to me. She adores her mama and that is so special to me.
Thankful for a comfy bed to sleep in and warm feet to put my cold feet on when I climb into bed.
Thankful for artists that write worship music so I can come into God's presence quicker & easier to praise him.
Thankful for music that speaks to my whole being.
Thankful for science to help diseases go away
Thankful for God's love that he unconditionally shows me so I can try to show it to others.
Thankful that tomorrow is Friday so Adam has the weekend off & we can spend some time together as a family!
Thankful for God's peace and presence!
Thankful for all the colors God created! I love color!