More Thankfulness...even through the storm

Thankfulness at this time of year seems quite fitting.  People all over are sharing at least one thing they are thankful for each day of the month so at closing of the month they will have a beautiful list of at least 30 things they are thankful for. That doesn't necessarily mean actual "things" but I think you get what I'm saying.

We headed to church this morning and decided that since it was baptism day and we didn't have anyone being baptized this time, we'd be sure to help in KidsZone. Baptism day a favorite day of mine in our church because we are privileged to hear the hearts of God's people as they share why they are being baptized, why they made the choice to obey God with this step after asking Jesus into their heart.
So it's been a few weeks since the major news of the Pet Scan revealed Stage IV rather than 2 or 3 of breast cancer.  The kids in KidsZone have known for weeks that I was diagnosed with breast cancer & they've prayed for me.  Today Gabby's video was shared with the kids & I asked them some questions before we started our lesson on compassion.  Krista used the wonderful people in our lives to share how people are showing us compassion.  It seems to make more sense to teach the lesson when we can give examples that they'll understand and make it more real & applicable to them.  After our lesson we cleared out the chairs so that we could do worship time and have plenty of space for the kids to stand & worship with songs.  But the kids were getting a little wild.  Yup, that's what happens when everyone grabs a chair & carries it to the pile to line up & they are supposed to wait for the next step.  That waiting part is hard sometimes, especially for 1st - 5th grade kids.  So I grabbed the mic and started asking questions about what we were doing next.  I LOVE singing and I really LOVE singing worship songs to God.  I wanted to share something with them so that they would "get it" on why we sing to God. How it can bring us into his presence and meet our needs in so many ways.  I wanted them to experience what I so frequently experience as I sing to God in song.  They needed a little extra encouragement to quiet down and when they did, I told them that in my devotion time for the last several days there has been a theme. I asked if any of them could guess what the theme was. My hints were "this is something we often talk about a lot at this time of year" and it starts with the letter T.  Thankful, a sweet little girl said.  That's correct!  I said, ya know it's not too hard to be thankful when we are happy & everything is going good for us but we are to be thankful even when things that we might think of as "bad" are going on in our lives.  I went on to say how God is calling me to be thankful even though I have something in my body that I wish was not there and I said sometimes and even some days it is harder than others to be thankful but what God really wants is for us to show him our hearts.  He wants for us to praise him despite our circumstances. And I said, I want for all of you to sing to God with all your heart right now. I want you to forget about what the kids on either side of you think. Don't worry about how you sound when you sing. Just sing to God with all your heart.  Of course I got choked up when I told them that I didn't like what was inside my body & I wanted it gone but I still praise God for a lot of stuff & even with this circumstance.  I then shut the mic off and set it down & went to walk away from the altar only to be stopped by my son who hasn't been feeling the greatest today.  He asked if he could pray for me. I said of course. So he held my hands & started to pray.  And before I knew it, I could feel another set of hands on my right shoulder, my back, & then on my left shoulder, and a Morgan walked up under my arm & put her arms around me.  I was praying with my eyes closed & then I just began to sing and worship God while some were praying over me. I could hear so  many of the kids singing that my heart was rejoicing. I was thrilled to hear their voices and feel the Holy Spirit's presence.  God tells us that when we are thankful and open our heart and mind to Him we will be able to feel His Presence.  Last week our Pastor talked about how Moses set up the tent outside the camp (kinda like a temple) and was in God's Presence and how he was in God's presence on the mount when he got the 10 commandments.  God is so holy that we are not allowed in his presence unless we are blameless. I am thankful that Jesus died on the cross to pay the debt for my sins so that I can seek and be in God's presence because it is a great place to be. So as we sang the 1st worship song with the kids & we prayed, God's presence was in the place. I'm positive he was touching the lives of some of the kids and I'm not sure that their lives would have been touched in this way today or that they would have experienced that moment in the same way had I not been diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer.  It's not that I'm in denial about this disease or that I really want it inside my body...I don't. But I am looking to God to thank him for what he is doing in people's lives as a result of me having to deal with this.  Do I pray every day for God to kill each cancer cell and replace them with good, healthy cells. YES. Do I believe that God will do it. Yes. In the meantime, I will try to do what I am asked by God to be a light and to be an example and to be the connection from reality to God who sometimes doesn't seem so real to kids, or even some people because we can't see or touch him like we can with so many things.  These kids are praying and praising God. They are the greatest warriors and I plan to continue doing my part, to the best of my ability, so that God can reach each & everyone one of them in such a way that they get an a-Ha moment and that they begin to own their faith so that no matter what happens, they will follow Christ.

Thank you God for using me to reach these kids to pull them into your kingdom even more. Please open their hearts so they can be real with you and learn to own their own faith. I mean that they will have such a faith in you that they will never walk away from you, not even when they are old enough to leave their parents & this church & go to college or on to somewhere else on their own. I pray that their faith in you will be strong that it will not shake when they experience trials of any size.  Thank you Lord. in Jesus' name. Amen.

Today after prayer, I was a little tired but the pain seemed to really die down in a big way & not dig it's way in to the bones of my back & hips. Being mostly pain free today so I could help Gabby finish her school project was really nice. I wish that her project wouldn't have taken ALL day Long so I could have spent time with the rest of the family.  But even the headache from the cold that has been hitting each of us was sort of whirling around in my head, I was able to help Gabby & enjoy sitting & moving in certain ways that were not hurting like that have over the last week.  I am super thankful for prayers each week. Last week when I was prayed over on Sunday, I had such a great Monday I was able to get a lot done. Hoping for another instance like that tomorrow. And praying that God's timing for when the appointment would be best to take place happens. Whether it be Dec 6th, 19th, or some other date.  Trusting God & praising Him, even through the storm.

Being Real...Good news...and 15th of the MONTH

Last night Adam came home late since he was on road training the seasonal help. He sounded terrible. Very hoarse, congested, and had a slight fever.  He showered, ate, took some meds, I prayed for him & then he went to sleep.  It wasn't much longer after he went to bed that the kids were in bed, then Sadie fell asleep, and then I climbed in bed since I couldn't keep my eyes open.  I thought, great, I will get lots of sleep. No alarm clock to go off in the am since the kids didn't have school for deer day.  My night consisted of waking up several times. Sometimes every hour with hot flashes. As I lay in bed praying for Adam, for my friend who had surgery, for the lady preparing for her bone marrow transplant & for others that asked for prayer, I figured there was no point being upset that I was awake, perhaps lots of people needed prayer & I was to intercede for them.  When I woke up for some reason, I thought that the breast tumor had grown in size and my mind started to get anxious & fearful.  I gathered my clothes for a shower but when I got into the bathroom I felt sort of sick. Shaky & weak.  I started thinking, what if the cancer is still growing at a super fast rate & what if the hormone treatment doesn't work fast enough or the right way.  Fear was creeping into my mind and all the what ifs were haunting me.  I started praying as I picked myself off the floor to shower & saying the name of Jesus over & over again.  As I dressed, my mind wandered again to the place of fear of the unknown.  I whistled for my kids to come help me. I wasn't sure whether I felt I would throw up or pass out or what so my kids touched me with their sweet, soft hands and that reminded me that God will take care of me.  I made my way down the stairs to sit on the couch but grabbed my cell phone first.  I had heard the text notification so I read the message from my friend. She was wishing me a better day today than yesterday with less pain and to be energized by God's love.  For a brief second I thought I could just deal with this on my own and then thought better of it. God has placed so many people in my life & my family's to help us through this hardship so I wrote back:

"Feeling shaky. Prayers needed to push back...actually remove all fear."

She replied back with a prayer for me:
"Dear Heavenly Father, I pray to you that you would take this fear and shaky feeling and bind it. Don't allow this to find its way into her mind. I pray your spirit and love would be felt upon Jeannette and guide her today, tomorrow, and each day through this. I lift this to you in your precious name. Amen

I was so thankful to have my children home with me because I handed the phone to one and asked them to lay hands on me and pray this prayer over me.  And then they hugged me with those soft, loving hands again.  I immediately picked up my devotion book another friend had sent me and found today's devotion.

Approach problems with a light touch. When your mind moves toward a problem area, you tend to focus on that situation so intensely that you lose sight of Me. You pit yourself against the difficulty as if you had to conquer it immediately. Your mind gears up for battle, and your body becomes tense and anxious. Unless you achieve total victory, you feel defeated.

There is a better way. When a problem starts to overshadow your thoughts, bring this matter to Me. Talk with Me about it and look at it in the Light of My Presence. This puts some much-needed space between you and your concern, enabling you to see from My perspective. You will be surprised at the results. Sometimes you may even laugh at yourself for being so serious about something so insignificant.

You will always face trouble in this life. But more importantly, you will always have Me with you, helping you to handle whatever you encounter. Approach problems with a light touch by viewing them in My revealing Light.

Psalm 89:15  Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord.

John 16:33  I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

If you know me personally, you know that this made me cry. Tears of joy and tears of peace. God reminded me that He is in control. He provided me with the support and the strength to cast the fears out of my mind and put my eyes on him again.

I wanted to share this with you because I am not perfect. I do not always have it together. My eyes are not always fixed on Christ.  I am human & a sinful one. Thankfully the Holy Spirit dwells within me and God has put people around me to help me get through these moments no matter how short or long they may last.  Be encouraged friends. God loves you the same as me and if you allow him, he can do the same for you.

Some GOOD news!!!!

Hours after I read the devotion and received God's peace, I received a phone call from the geneticist to tell me that the panel for my special genetics testing was done and everything came back NEGATIVE!  

 Praise God

Just received a call from our insurance company to tell me that the specialist that was billed as out of network (so we would have to pay the full bill) was incorrectly billed. Praising God for more good news. They will re-bill it and go from there. :)

Prayers are being answered. Still requesting that more be lifted for us.  And a dear friend of mine was told her dr found a lump in her breast at her exam and she needs to have a mammogram done.  She is scared and needs prayer so please pray for her. Peace and comfort as she waits for results. And a report of excellent results too!

And finally for today.  It is the 15th of the month.  Today is the day that I change my contacts & also the day I have Adam put sulfur in the water pipes (if the right season to kill tree roots).

AND Today is the day that Ladies need to do a self exam of their breasts. Please don't put this off. I know they say to do it with your cycle but some ladies I know have long cycles. Some ladies are reaching menopause & don't have a cycle, and some have regular 28 day cycles.  Please, take the time today to do a self exam. PLEASE!!!!  If you don't know how, as your doctor for a handout or google the instructions.  No excuses.  Some insurances are starting to cover mammograms at the age of 35 for a baseline.  Schedule your appointment and go get squished!  And men, you should be doing self exams for yourself as well.  Sorry if this makes people feel uncomfortable but to me, if I can remind even one person, it's worth it!