Thursday, September 17, 2015

Archived Day 3....coming to terms

This was accidentally sent to my old blog because I was trying to update from my phone while recovering from surgery back in August. After talking with a few people recently, I realized that some may only follow my blog for updates and not be on Facebook so they don't really know how I'm doing. Sorry friends for that. I will try to remember to update the blog and then share it on Facebook. I will be working to move all updates since the surgery onto here so please forgive me if they become a jumbled mess. I will try to figure it out.


Day 3...coming to terms

I have never been taught to walk away from anything throughout my life.  In fact,  when I was 16, I totaled my parents van. It was the van I had prayed for us to get, even, right down to the color. I was on my way to DC and hit black ice and totaled it soon after I got back, my parents had a new /used van for us and guess who had to drive? Me of course because they couldn't have me afraid of driving or afraid of life.
Yesterday I didn't do the greatest at facing the situation head on. I tried and well, let me explain.
I was supposed to have a nurse come to the house to help with the drains and the bandages.  It had been 48 hours and I was allowed to remove bandages for showering. I was looking forward to it.  Showers always make me feel better and with all the iodine on me,  I was a little itchy so I wanted to clean up.  The nurse didn't call so Adam took the bandages off. Seeing not much left of where my chest was but an incision made me feel light headed so I had to sit on the toilet so Adam could still take care of me. He put a fan in the door to cool the air and gave me a cold washcloth to hold on my forehead.  Then he used a warm washcloth to take as much of the iodine off my shoulder and arm while being super gentle and understanding. He joked with me as he checked to make sure everything looked good and then re-bandaged me carefully.
It wasn't even that my belly looked like it stuck out farther and made it look larger.  It was simply grieving the loss of part of me that I see every day. It is also grieving the loss of intamacy to some extent. Yes, reconstruction is an option but that will be another surgery,  more pain, new things to learn, etc.  I am thankful that God is my fortress.  He never changes. I can always count on Him!
I am blessed with a patient, knowledgeable, gentle,  & kind husband and so many others around me, too many to name. Continue the prayers please.  I followed directions and took pain meds every 4 hours for 48 hours and now it's time to see how it goes backing off of them.  My skin is still dry and itchy in spots, I'll see if I can fix that today. Hoping to be a little braver & stronger today than yesterday so I can get that shower I long for.

Sorry no cool graphics for verses today. This is the first blog post I've done from my phone I think & I'm not pushing it. Have a great and blessed day.  I know I will because it is Sunday and I'm expecting God to meet me where I'm at.