Wednesday, May 20, 2015

He's not done yet!

So last week when I shared that there was that new receptor and they told me I would have to have an iv to get the meds I was kinda ok with that. Yesterday when I went in to have my labs drawn to check my calcium and creatinine and to get the bone strengthening shot, I was told by the doctor that to get those meds that I was going to have to start chemo treatments for 12 weeks. Talk about a smack in the face. I'll be honest, I cried and it was hard to have to share that news with my husband, my parents, and especially my kids. But there is something welling up inside of me at the devil right now, I think some would call it a righteous indignation against him stealing even more from me. I attended the healing/teaching by Dr. Nichols again last night. This morning, I think that the tumor has shrunk again. I had Adam check it too and he said yes. Glory to GOD! Praise to HIM!

On Sunday evening when I was prayed over at the healing service, I was told that there is some bitterness that I need to deal with. On Monday night I then talked with a dear special lady who helped me figure out in my spirit who the person or persons I needed to forgive were and I spent that night and yesterday praying and giving over any hurts to God. Last night I was prayed over again. This morning I watched a dvd with an amazing testimony of a young lady who was near death and received a miracle from God in an instantaneous healing. She had seen a vision that God would heal her progressively and when she was told that God wanted to heal her instantly she prayed about it and asked why the conflicting message. God told her that he was meeting her where she was at with her faith and when her heart changed to have her faith move with God's grace that is always there, she was completely and instantly healed. WOW! God knows what we need and meets us where we're at all the time. I'm pushing to move my faith to line up with God's grace of a miracle, an instant healing because in all honesty, I don't want chemotherapy. I don't want any of the stuff that comes with that way of treatment. I don't want any of the surgeries or anything else. Not because I am fearful of them, not because of vanity but because I am angry at satan and I don't want him to keep steeling from me. He no longer has that right over me. I am standing firm that I believe God has healed me and I will continue to follow his lead as he guides me.
GREATER is HE that is in me than he that is in the world!

Can't take much more time. I have a field trip to have fun on with a bunch of kids. My vision of healing showed me that I was actively playing with kids with Adam. Not just mine but other kids. And like I said, that goes along with what God has called Adam & me to do. Minister to kids & their families. Praise God! He's my HERO!

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Update for May 14th

In case you missed the newest. Adam & I went to Ann Arbor so that they could do a full workup and recommend what should happen next in the treatment plan since it was noted that on the PET Scan there were 3 locations that lit up but all the other previous locations did not light up on the scan, which is good but concern of why there are 3 sites active with 1 being a new site. They were thinking that the current hormone therapy treatment wasn't working to block what the cancer feeds from.

As Adam & I made the 7 hour trip to Ann Arbor we talked and listened to the radio. It was great that either SMILE FM or K-LOVE were within range to keep us listening to positive songs all the way down. At one point while it was dark and Francesca Battistelli's song Holy Spirit came on and as we listened to it, we held hands and made it our prayer for the whirlwind of appointments, doctors, information, results, and decisions we would be facing this week. I can say that when a couple stands firm together with God on their's amazing!  I have included the lyric video at the end. It is a powerful prayer!

Adam & I arrived late on Sunday night at his cousin's to stay the night since the first test, a mammogram, would take place starting at 7:45am. His cousin lives very close to the hospital. From the mammogram they found a calcified spot on the left side which had actually never been looked at before. They had only ever done a mammogram on the right which is the side with the tumor. They sent me for an ultrasound to see if they could see the spot. They could not find it on ultrasound so it was recommended that I get a biopsy done on the left. They also recommended that a biopsy be done on the right again since sometimes the receptors can change. So after waiting to see different nurses, doctors, etc. I ended up having a biopsy on the right that was done in the office at the very end of the day. I think pretty much everyone else had gone home for the day. When we left, the surgeon and her nurse were going to do whatever they could to get me in for the left biopsy on Tuesday since we were so far from home and have 4 children & missed them.  It didn't work. They couldn't get me scheduled for Tuesday but were able to get me in on Wednesday at 8:15 am. So Adam & I stayed at his cousin's again. On Tuesday we slept in since we were exhausted from the drive on Sunday & Monday's activity at the Cancer Clinic. After breakfast and a leisure morning, we found a place for lunch near the theater and then watched a movie. After the movie, Adam vacuumed his car and I helped Gabby with her homework using pics on Google Hangouts and my phone to talk to her. It worked quite nicely and was fairly quick for math homework.

On Wed morning, we headed for the clinic again and I had the biopsy done via x-ray since that was the only way they could see the spot on the left side. Since it is a teaching hospital there was a doctor aiming to specialize in this area so the doctor doing the procedure was explaining things. I didn't want to concentrate on that part so I started singing in my head the following chorus and just imagining God filling the entire room and guiding each person involved in this procedure that HIS best would be the outcome.
Holy Spirit you are welcome here, come flood this place and fill the atmosphere, your glory God is what our hearts long for, to be overcome by your presence, Lord.

  The procedure went really well according to the doctor And the nurse AND the radiologist technician. They each said Really great several times. I kinda wondered at first if they were just saying it to make me feel better but the impression I got was that it really did go very smoothly and without actually saying it plainly, I think it may have perhaps been one of the best procedures they have done. They got the sample that they needed and after waiting the allotted time for me to show i was okay, we got in the car and headed home. We stopped for lunch at Adam's aunt & uncle's and then continued home. On the way, the nurse called to give me the results for the biopsy from Monday (the right side, the original diagnosis site). She said that it tested as Invasive Ductile Carcinoma (which was the original diagnosis) and that it was still estrogen + but the HER2 receptor that originally tested as - was actually + now and that the oncologist was going to recommend to my local oncologist to add the HER2 medicine which is an IV drip. I'm not sure the details on the med but it made me glad that we followed the path to Ann Arbor and that they re-tested the original site.

Then today, I got a phone call from the doctor that did the biopsy on the Left side and she said that it is BENIGN!!!  I can't remember exactly what she called it, something about a fibrous something or other but I blurted out PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When she said it was good news. She told me that the surgeon's office would contact me about the mastectomy that they are scheduling for the right. I'm not sure the time-frame on the surgery but I think fairly soon.

So even though I was praying for everything to be completely gone, God is faithful to give me another step closer to that victory of complete healing. I know its so close. And I will continue to praise God for it!  In the meantime, I will be attending some of these services to allow God to minister to me through this couple. If you aren't too far away from our area, come join us! I think you'll be blessed in some way.

I had to kind of take it easy today as I wasn't allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk but tomorrow I've got a busy day ahead of me. Today I had family come by to help & visit and we have company coming and I'm very excited to spend time with some more family.  I just love ALL my family!

Thank you for your continued prayers through all of this. Please know that I have been praying for several of you. As things are brought to my attention, I lift it to God or I speak healing to other people's bodies. God is the great physician and I am glad to have him use me to minister to others. Be sure to leave your prayer requests in the comments or on my FB page in the comments. I pray for each one.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

A Mother's Day Revelation!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.  I know that I am blessed to be a mom and I'll explain more about why I am blessed in a bit. First off though, I am a mom to 4 wonderful and challenging children here and an angel baby in heaven. I am also mom to another boy that is staying with us until the end of school and I am sort of like a mom to many other children that I come into contact with while I volunteer my time at the schools and our church. I was sharing yesterday with my son that while I was growing up, I had the opportunity that when I grew out of the different groups I was involved in, I was able to volunteer as a helper with kids. I was in AWANA and after I finished, I helped out with the younger kids. When I was too old for Vacation Bible School (VBS) I volunteered to help out with the kids. My mom used to take my 3 sisters and myself to 4-H Family Camp each summer and when I was too old to be a part of it, I applied to be a counselor and was assigned to the 2-4 year old group. After I graduated from college and my internship, I was looking for a job and wasn't finding the right fit and I ended up babysitting for these 3 beautiful girls for a few years. One of those girls graduates this year and even though I don't hear from them, I know that I impacted their lives, even for the few years that I took care of them. And how much more could I impact the lives of 4 children that God placed in mine and Adam's care for the rest of their lives. No, they won't be living with us forever but that doesn't mean they won't call home and ask questions like I do with my parents still.

So this morning, I was praying and spending time with God while in the bathroom. It seems to be one of the best places to do it as a mom that has many other things to take care of throughout the day. And by starting this habit over the last few months, it has helped me to be consistent with spending time with God. I know it might sound a little strange but it works for me. LoL Anyway, I purchased a few pictures on clearance when the Family Dollar Store was going out of business and I hung 2 of the pictures in my bathroom because they are good reminders for me.  I was praying while in the shower and when I was out, I saw the picture that says TRUST....Believe in HIM at all times.

So I was talking with God and telling him that I trust Him that I believe His word is truth and I started quoting scriptures to go along with this. Then I saw the other picture and the top portion of it says Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see Hebrews 11:1.

And I said it a few times. Then I started to say, well I know that you've already healed me because I believe your word is truth and in your word it says that "By His stripes, I've been healed." and then I said, and I'm certain that I don't see it yet in the physical realm, and then chuckled a little because I know that's not what the verse means exactly. It's supposed to mean that I am certain that even though I don't see, feel, or touch it (ya know, using my 5 senses) in the physical realm right this instant, I know it's already done in the spirit realm. And I was struggling with that a little. And so I told God that and then my mind drifted to today being mother's day and how I feel so blessed to be a mom and that God has and is still teaching me so much about his love and compassion for us as his children and He has showed me these things because I am a mom. And I was thinking how nice it is that I have this opportunity to learn more of God, just by being a mom. And that's when the Holy Spirit showed me that as a parent, when my children are sick, I do anything in my power to make them better. And that is the same with God. When his children are sick, he will heal us. And that is when it clicked for me. I know that I am a child of God. I know that God wants me well. What father wouldn't want his children well right? And if it was in my power to make my children well I would do it. I believe that God has that power! And because I truly believe he has the power and I am His is the revelation....I am certain of what I do not see!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am CERTAIN that He has healed me!!!!!!!!!!!!  Praise God!!!

That's it! That simple. I love how he uses me being a mom to teach me things. So happy mother's day to all the moms out there. I may not know you but God knows you and he genuinely LOVES YOU! No matter how you have become a mom or what kind of mom you are. God loves you! Talk to him, he wants to hear from you more than an emergency call. He wants a relationship with you!

For by grace you have been saved through faith and not of yourselves it is the gift of God, not by works of righteousness lest anyone should boast.  Ephesians 2:8-9

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Be Still...

Here's a bold statement but a true one. If you don't take time with God, you are missing out. Each day that I take time with God, it looks different. Some days when I have time with God, it includes me praying, singing praises to God, reading the Bible, reading a devotion, listening to a sermon, etc. Not every day is the same, just like not all my days in the life as a wife & mom are the same. I don't always sit down and just be still. I mean, really be quiet and listen to God. It can be hard. I'm used to talking through prayer to God. But today I knew that I needed a vision to go along with the "word" that God had given me. At first I thought that the vision I had before of the darkness of the cancer turning into light might be it but when I asked and waited, I think that was only part of it but not the complete vision of the promise fulfilled. So I sat quietly and waited and waited. I'm used to having several other people around me and things being busy and semi-noisy so being still was slightly difficult but so worth it. And then I saw it. It was really cool and goes right along with what ministry that God has called us to do and that made it even more exciting to me. I'm not going to share in detail the vision today, mostly because it's new to me and I want to ponder on it but I'm sure sometime down the road, I'll share it with all of you in hopes of encouraging you.

So today I received a "vision" to go with the "word" that God gave to me months ago and today I meditated on both of them together before Sadie woke up. Then Adam picked me up to go meet the doctor at 10:15 The appointment didn't take long. I had been praying for a little extra time for God's promise to manifest and I got a yes on the time part. The doctor contacted Ann Arbor and the doctor down there said that she would see me this week, either Thursday or Friday in Ann Arbor and then bring my case to the meeting on Monday with a large group of doctors that consist of Oncologists, Radiologists, Surgeons, etc.  It sounds like they will discuss possible treatment options, possible pros and cons of the options and get back with us sometime next week.  I felt quite at peace with this development. I feel that this gives me just a few more days to spend time meditating on the "word" and "vision" God has given me and allows me a few days to receive the miraculous healing He has for me before the appointment. I'm praising God for this opportunity. I know it's near my grasp.

My prayer today;  Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. Soften my heart to receive the healing you've already done. Align my heart and body up with the promises in your word and the word you gave to me last year. Thank you for being so awesome & always with me. I praise you Lord for growing me in your word and truth. You are so good! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Results from scan & decisions pending

Happy Star Wars Day to all the SW geeks out there.

Thank you for your continued prayers. I had the scan done on Wed and we met with the doctor to get the results. The doctor put the scan from Wednesday as well as the one from 18 months ago up on the computer screen to compare them. The doctor said that the newest scan showed that the  original site was active again as well as the lymph node in the right arm pit and a new spot showed up on my tailbone. Because of these being active again, it is his recommendation to change the treatment plan to a different medication or medications. Adam asked him some questions and we are to meet with him on Tuesday in Escanaba to get more information and make a decision based on the information he was collecting. A call was being put in to Ann Arbor for a 2nd opinion and a call to the breast Surgeon to see if I should have the surgery done now or if it is even possible.  This was not the news I was hoping to hear but on the good side, these were the ONLY places that lit up on the scan. All the places that it was found in the bone when I had the initial scan done 18 months ago didn't light up this time! We commented that must be really good. We were told, medically speaking, that they don't know microscopically what is there and it could just be sleeping. I personally believe that those bones are healed and that's why they didn't have anything that showed up in them. To GOD be ALL GLORY!!!!

We stood in agreement with some friends at church yesterday and prayed that the cancer be cursed to death.  I know God is healing me just like he said he would. Please pray for wisdom for us and the doctors as we have to make decisions. Please pray that my heart be softened to accepting the entire body healing that I believe God has waiting for me. Please pray that any unbelief be removed. God is sooooo good.  I feel great! I don't have much pain and when I do, it's not bad and I just pray and it goes away.  I want to be receptive to God's best and I don't think that I am quite there. I'm trying to be transparent here because I'm sure there are others that can relate or need encouragement in their own journey and I know that with grace and faith working together, I will have the evidence of what I hope for and be certain of what I do not yet see and being honest and transparent will show my faith to others as this complete healing manifests in my body soon. :)