Tuesday, October 18, 2016


I have been struggling for the last several weeks with 'what if' kind of thoughts. Plain and simple, it sucks! The last post I made on here was great news that the tumor marker numbers were normal which was a great report. They have since risen a bit. The doctor said that it's hard to say what is happening because it's just a number and it can take time to level out. He asked me if I had any back pain. I said no. (He likes to use more than just a number to figure out what is going on and with insurance the way it is and not wanting to expose me to even more radiation stuff, he doesn't just order a scan unless he's got some things to back it up.) But wouldn't you know that the devil used that line of questions to make me think that I've had twinges of pain or for me to be "looking" for signs of pain. I know I need to be paying attention to my body and all but the mind games have become such a battle.  I am reminded that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers, and rulers of darkness. And I am reminded that Jesus already won the war when he died and rose again but I must continue fighting the battles. I must put on my armor of God and stand against the wiles of the devil. And I WILL STAND!
After eating dinner tonight, even after avoiding most gluten for the day, I was starting to get heartburn. I drank some Apple Cider Vinegar which burns worse than any cough medicine I've ever had to take but it helped.  After putting the kids to bed, I came back downstairs because it still felt better to be sitting up rather than  laying down to go to sleep. I decided to watch a little tv but the show I wanted to watch was messed up from the storm last night. So I put on a movie I had recorded. Sometimes movies make me think too much. This movie, while it was good, it was also sad and it got me thinking about the future of my family. I don't try to wonder what will happen and I fully trust God to take care of me and take care of my family so I just told the thoughts to shut up and go away and that my thoughts and imagination are captive to God. The movie was over and I collected the rest of the dishes that were out so I could start the dishwasher. For a split second, I thought of just going up to bed but I absolutely knew that I needed to read the next devotion in the book I've been reading because I needed the arsenal in my mind against the father of lies as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep. I don't know about you but when the rest of my family is sleeping, it's when the devil tries to get to me the most so I have learned to arm myself with God's word of truth before I go to bed. It's like I jump into my armor and grab my sword and shield 'just in case' and then I'm able to pray and keep focused on Christ before I fall asleep. Some nights I pray for a TON of people and other nights it is much shorter.

So why am I still up typing this when it is so late and I have to get my kids ready for school in the morning? I'm typing this because I knew I needed to share it. This was way too perfect. It was definitely a God thing to put it all together the way it was in my devotion tonight.

You may already know, if you've read my blog before or talked to me in person, that I have several scripture verses that I say and pray about just about every day. One of them is "I will NOT die, I WILL LIVE, and declare the works of the Lord. Psalm 118:17  I say this verse because I believe that it is my choice to live and I'm not about to allow the devil to steal it from me. And I pray that I will live an abundant life because that is a blessing that God has given to his children. I also pray that I will walk by faith and not by sight, nor by feelings. I often say that it doesn't matter to me what the doctors have said, they can only do so much and they are not in control because if they were, I would think that they would heal people so they had a better track record. I say that I choose to live because I have a calling on my life, to be a wife, a mother, and to minister to kids and their families. Do you get where I am going with all of this? It was all wrapped up with a beautiful bow in my devotion from 90 Days to Possessing Your Healing by Kynan Bridges. Here's what my devotion was tonight. I share this with you because I know someone else needs to hear this too.

Day 52:  You shall live

I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. -Psalm 118:17

I cannot speak for anyone else, but I can remember times where I honestly thought I was not going to make it. I had accepted a lie from the enemy. Does this sound familiar? It may come in the form of a doctor's report, a symptom of illness, or a spiritual attack from the forces of darkness. No matter what it is or how it looks, you must make a conscious decision to declare the Word of God over your situation. David, the psalmist and king of Israel, understood this truth. he declared in Psalm 118:12, "they compassed me about like bees; they are quenched as the fire of thorns: for in the name of the Lord I will destroy them." The enemy was afflicting him; he was surrounded on every side. Like bees swarm around a person when they come near their honeycomb, so the enemy surrounded David. This is a tactic of intimidation and control. Why? It's because the enemy does not want you to obtain the blessing God has prepared for you. He does not want you to experience healing and breakthrough. Life David, you are going to have to open your mouth and declare, "I will live and not die!" It doesn't matter what the doctors say, you have a job to do and a purpose to fulfill. Don't give up now! You are too close to the "honeycomb." The devil may "sting" you, but he can't kill you because you have a covenant with Almighty God. Jesus came that you might have life and have it more abundantly. We recently received a testimony of a young lady who was diagnosed with stage three cancer. She got a hold of our teachings and began to declare that she was not going to die. She determined that cancer was not going to have the last word. Every day she spoke the promises of God over her life. After a very intense spiritual and physical battle, her physician declared that there was no cancer in her body. You shall live and not die!

Healing prayer: Father, in the name of Jesus, I declare that I shall live and not die, I will declare the works of the Lord all the days of my life. Your Word says that with long life You will satisfy me. Thank You, Lord, for health and wholeness all the days of my life. From this day forward I refuse to be intimidated by the enemy. I refuse to accept any of his lies any longer. Lord Jesus, I come to You as my Deliverer, for You know everything that concerns me. You are aware of every frailty in my life, yet You choose to love me unconditionally. right now, I receive Your zoe life in my mortal flesh. Never again will I yield to the evil report of the enemy, but I will set my eyes and hope on You. In Your name I will overcome every sickness, disease, infirmity, or hindrance. Amen!

You see that? It was all there in tonight's reading. Everything that I have been believing and speaking. All together to remind me that God is NOT done with me yet. He has a plan for my life, dying of cancer is NOT it and I do NOT quit this battle. I am praying for you tonight. Do NOT give up! Do NOT listen to the lies that you hear. Remind yourself of God's promises. His word is TRUTH! Speak it and believe it and receive it! It is sooooo worth it!

I had the guts to write this post tonight because of a message I listened to from my pastor and from other pastors that I listen to teachings from. It was confirmed to me in more than 1 teaching, which to me means that God is trying to tell me something and I should listen. This is a message of Hope from the book of Romans. This is a message that despite what you have going on in your life, no matter how hard it may seem to be, know that Praising God through the storm will get you through the storm. That's why I'm sharing...I am giving GOD the glory and removing any power that the devil had on me, any fear of what people would think that the numbers have gone up after they were down in the normal range for a few weeks and I am taking that power back. It is not going to be stolen from me because God is greater. I will continue to stand on God's word because I believe it is TRUTH! I hope you will stand against your battle too.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

God is Amazing!!!

On Monday, August 1st, I had another treatment. This was the 3rd of the new chemo cocktail (that's what they refer to it as) that I was switched to. I've been doing treatments for every 3 weeks since the end of May 2015 with only a few breaks between for surgery & recovery. And you may not know that a few months ago the tumor marker numbers were starting to rise. That seemed to indicate that something was going on. So I was sent for a CT scan. The doctor said there were lesions on my liver from the cancer spreading. I was then sent for a biopsy to see what was going on pathology wise. It came back that the estrogen part of the cancer was activated again. The Her2 part was borderline so they wanted to switch the daily pill and the IV chemo meds that are administered every 3 weeks. They measured the tumor marker again (which is a blood test)  and it had gone up to 110. It should be noted that a number equal to or less than 38 is considered normal. And at one point the number I had was about 12 points away from normal. I longed for it to be in the normal range & kept praying about it.

Now I trust God. And I know that He is faithful. I know that it doesn't take much faith, only the size of a mustard seed, and that doubt takes away from my faith. I also know what God told me about being healed and I know He will keep that promise. So I keep pressing forward. It's not always easy. The devil likes to play mind games and he seemed to reserve planting the seeds of doubt for when everyone else in my house is asleep and I am trying to fall asleep or when I wake in the middle of the night. So I started a new devotion book using the Kindle app. I got a great deal on Book Bub and only paid $0.99.  I started reading one devotion each night before I go to bed from 90 Days to Possessing Your Healing . I figured that way it was fresh in my mind and it would be easier to combat the lies and doubts from the devil.  I'm not very far into it, only about day 11 but I will say, it has been quite helpful to me.

The other day I received an email from my patient portal from the doctors office saying that a test result was ready and I quickly signed in and opened it up. I found that it was from the blood draw on Monday and I actually already had a hard copy of the test but they had just put it into my digital portal. I thought it might have been the results of the tumor marker number and I have been praying that it would be down from 110. But it wasn't ready yet. And ya know what? That was okay. It gave me 1 more night to prepare my heart, and mind to receive what I have been praying about for so long.  On Thursday night, I read day 10 devotion and it talked about how we are to pray and believe that we have received what we pray for. It's actually found in Mark 11:24 and was the verse I had been praying for months. I actually had it as my screen on my phone to remind me but had recently changed it because it had become invisible to me from seeing it so much, or so I thought. The title of day 10 was actually "Don't pray and worry."  The devotion talks about us having an attitude of possession of what we pray for and believe by faith that we have received it.  Here is what struck me the most:

The moment you pray, you must take ownership of the miracle for which you are asking.

BAM!!!!  It really hit me right where I needed it.

I have talked about taking ownership of actions to my kids on several occasions. I'm trying to teach them to be responsible and :"taking ownership of choices" is one of those things.  So this really hit me.  It was time to remember that what I had already asked God for nearly 3 years ago, was already mine. His healing is mine! And part of the devotion prayer that I read had me state "that I refuse to be manipulated by the severity of my condition, but instead I choose to rejoice in Your great power and ability to bring Your Word to pass in my life."  This had hit me so hard square in my face and made such an impact on me that when I went to bed Thursday night, I was confident that the tumor marker number would be lower than 110 when it finally came through the portal.

I am extremely pleased and excited to say that Friday morning, I got an email saying I had another test result ready to be viewed and when I signed in, it was the tumor marker number and it was 20.9!!!!!!  Not only did God bring that number down, but he ALSO did immeasurably more and it is in the normal range. Praise God!!! To God be ALL the Glory!!!! He is amazing, He is good, He is our Healer!

It was nice to see a test result start lining up with what I know is God's truth that I am healed and he will restore my body from the damage that was done from the cancer. I am so thankful and continue to praise God for WHO he is, not just WHAT he does.

I hope that many find this encouraging to NEVER give up. God cares deeply about YOU! He really does. He wants you well. He wants you healed, restored, and for you to be strong in your faith and have no doubt that He will do what He says.  He loves you!

Monday, July 18, 2016

It's not Thursday but....

Since these fun updates seem so far and few lately I thought I'd try to shorten the gap from the last one to now.

It's not Thursday when I like to do my Thankful Thursday but any day is a good day to be thankful.

I am thankful that I have the ability and courage to attempt and succeed in making the invitations for my sister's wedding that is coming up quickly.  We couldn't find what she was looking for, nor could we find a good price so I made them and am awaiting their printing. They should be done on Thursday and I will be happy to hand them over to her so she can send them off to family & friends.

I have also been working on the inserts with hotel, registry, RSVP, and directions. Lining those things up was quite a challenge. I didn't get them perfect but I'm sure it will be okay because at least they will be done and ready for those invitations on Thursday.

I am thankful that tomorrow I am getting some new furniture for our living room. I am so excited to get a love seat that I can sit with Adam again. Due to the bones of my back only liking certain angles, I am unable to sit on our couch. :(  Which means I sit in a recliner by myself unless one of the kids comes to snuggle with me. I am thankful they can do that but I am excited to be able to sit next to my Love soon. :)  And we got the powered love seat so I can be extra comfy by stopping wherever it is most comfy!  Yay!!!

I am thankful that we have sold some of our gently used furniture and that we will be able to sell it all very soon.

I am thankful that my dad is coming over tomorrow to install a new pedestrian door in my garage. One that will open and shut. We've been without one of those for so long that it's gonna take getting used to.

I am thankful my mom is coming over to visit tomorrow too and she's bringing pictures to go through. I enjoy looking at pictures and so do my kids! Gonna be fun!!

I am thankful that my mother in law is so kind to make dinner for us and not only did she make an amazing meal but while it was cooking, she helped me sort through piles of clothes, the canning supplies, etc. We didn't finish today but we sure made a nice dent in the mess and I'm planning to get more of it done tomorrow before my parents get here.

I am thankful that my kids are buying into our new laundry system where they each do their own laundry like once a week. Braly did his today and I asked Gabby to help him hang and fold the clothes since I was busy & would normally help him. They worked together & Braly said, "Hey mom, we're already done!" Yes, that's what I was hoping for them to learn...that it doesn't take long.

I am thankful that most days I feel pretty good and can do many things with my family & get things done. I sometimes get frustrated that it takes me longer than I like but I have today & I will keep going and keep trying!

I am thankful for so much more but it is time for me to head to bed now. I am thankful that I have a comfy bed to sleep in and get rested so I can do more things tomorrow.

I am thankful for God's word that says, I will not die but live and I will declare the works of the Lord! Psalm 118:17  I stand on this promise just about every single day!

Friday, June 3, 2016

Feeling a little emotional

Doing things a little backwards today. I posted this on FB and thought I should share on my blog for any followers that might miss it on there.

Feeling a little emotional today and it's not even the last day of school yet. As I drove Gabby to school, she asked that I not just pray for her today but pray for her whole class. There's almost 200 of them. As I prayed for them, the tears started to fall from my eyes for several reasons, these kids are moving from junior high to high school in a few short months. I don't know all of them but I've helped out with different things at school and watched these kids. I know some of their stories and some have rough lives. I prayed for them today as if they were all my own and it made me think of how much more God loves each one of them because they ARE his. My tears are of a proud mom seeing what these kids have accomplished so far and I prayed for them to make wise decisions in all that they do, to be safe, to stay away from drugs and alcohol, to stay away from pornography, to stay away from bullying and to stay away from anything that could hurt them and cause more pain then what they may already be feeling. I asked for God to soften their hearts and call each one of them to have a relationship with Him. I poured out my heart for each one because even though they are not mine, I feel a sense of responsibility to guide them regardless of who they are. Parents of these kids, the class of 2020 only have 4 short years to finish pouring into their kids before they graduate high school. Don't waste even a day. Every day counts when it comes to these kids. They need their parents and community to guide them in good morals and with grace and love to be the best they can be. And I need to pray for the parents too because this is one tough job.
Today Morgan visits The "U" because next year she leaves her elementary days behind. I am thankful that God is helping us guide her into a lovely young lady too. I am thankful that we have had some experience already with 2 older ones to help guide her in the right direction. She doesn't get to make all her own choices but she is getting more opportunities. She too needs plenty of grace as we all do and I pray that we continue giving her a balance of what she needs.
Braly has a fun day today since his was postponed due to weather earlier this week. But thinking about him leaving The "U" and entering the junior high in a few months is emotional too. I don't think he's the youngest in his class by any means but he is quite mature and I look forward to him having some really great and amazing teachers in the 7th grade in the fall. And as I gear up for summer to be here in a few days with the kids finishing this school year I am amazed at all they've done and been through this last year. I am forever thankful and grateful to God for carrying us through each day and week, month and year. With man nothing is possible, but with God, ALL things are possible! He's is faithful and right by our side always.
To my amazing children, mom & dad are so very proud of your accomplishments this year. You may not receive awards, as in trophies or recognition in front of all your peers and school for being outstanding but you certainly are! You are kind, respectful, obedient, helpful, persistent, determined, loving, caring people and we are more than pleased to say these things and are blessed that God sent you to us. Each one of you are a walking miracle and huge blessings to our family!!!!!
Psalm 127:3-5 New International Version (NIV)
3 Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Catching Up

It's been quite some time since I have been on my blog. I just haven't made the time to sit and write and thought it was time to catch up again.

I completed Physical Therapy. When I was retested at the end, I had gained more flexibility as well as the pain was nearly gone. I also shaved off a few seconds from one of the tests. The physical therapist was so encouraging and positive that it helped me feel much better about where I am with everything. It also gave me hope that I can continue working toward a healthier goal for myself despite what I have been diagnosed with and that made a difference in my outlook and attitude.  I sometimes need a reminder.  I am not completely consistent with doing all my stretches but I am doing some of them on a daily basis.  I just received a card from my PT and that was perfect timing to help me remember to do what I have been taught.

About 6 weeks ago the tumor marker number was tested and it had increased 10 points from when it was tested like 2 months prior to that. So it was redone last time and it came back 2.5 points up. The doctor considered this stable but we will be talking tomorrow about things.  I was informed at my last appointment that I will have to continue on the Herceptin & Perjeta chemo treatments for as long as they work. Most people with Her 2 positive receptors do the meds for 1 year and then they are done. Since they diagnosed me with stage 4, they want me to continue on them for as long as they work. I'm not overly thrilled with that info but I just keep remembering that God told me he'd take care of it all so I put it into his hands & trust his word to be truth! I know he's not a liar.

I have been feeling quite good and am planning to do a rummage sale with the help of my kids as soon as we can get it ready & there is good weather. We need to get these extra clothes & toys and misc out of our house and see if we can make a little extra money to help out.  We have been working on paying off our debt this last year in a big way and we are finally making some progress. We don't say no to ourselves ALL the time but we have said no to a LOT lately and that is helping.

I can't believe that school is coming to a close in the not so distant future. I am looking forward to having my kids at home but may be looking at another surgery soon. I have to find out my options for reconstruction from the mastectomy so we can make a decision. And then if it involves surgery, we can get that done soon so we can have a great summer.

Thank you for the continued prayers for me and my family. We wouldn't be thriving like we are if we didn't have God at the center of our lives.  A few weeks ago I was praying about how to help my kids learn to do a daily devotion and time with God and the holy spirit gave me the idea to use The Bible App on my phone and choose a different devotion for each of my kids. He also gave me the idea of when to do this with each of them so that I could have some one on one time with them and so far, it's been working GREAT for the last 2 weeks. On school days, so 5 days a week, I sit down with Braly & we read through his devotion before he heads to school. That way he starts his day out in the right direction. I drop him off at school and then spend a few minutes with Gabby doing her devotion before she gets dropped off at school. When I am helping Morgan finish up getting ready for school, we have time before the bus comes to read her devotion.  We missed last Monday for Morgan because she had an appointment but we did her reading after school.  I am thoroughly enjoying this time with each of them and it is lending some information for some great conversations. We've talked about history, genealogy, and so much more over the last 2 weeks. They are asking more questions about our faith and what I am really gearing toward is them making our faith their own. What I mean by that is, they aren't just choosing our faith because mom & dad have this faith, but rather they choose it because they want to and they feel called to serve and love God.  For the longest time I struggled with how to be consistent with my kids and doing devotions. I never thought that I'd be able to do one on one with them in the morning without rushing or being late but it is working great. I think that I will continue doing The Dig: Luke Vol 1 at dinner time when we can because we were all enjoying that one but I won't fret if we don't do it every day. Oh, just had a holy spirit idea, We can do The Dig on weekends when it is easier for us to be together.  And I have a cute little devotion book for preschoolers that I do with Sadie. It has super cute illustrations and simple, yet practical & powerful info with an age appropriate version for the Bible verse. I used it with the older 3 and they got a lot out of it. I sometimes see them pick it up and read through several pages of it still. It's great to see that. And I imagine I'll keep it to use with my grandchildren some day. :)

Time for me to head to bed. One of the things that I often struggle with is getting to bed at a decent time. I go in spurts of doing great to stinking at it. And I know that my body needs a good amount of rest so I must take care of this temple I have and get it to sleep.

Have a great week friends!  Be encouraged to set some goals and work toward them. With God, All things are possible!

P.S. don't forget that you can subscribe to my blog so you won't miss a post, especially with how much time can pass before I sit down and write. Sign up with your email and it will go right to your inbox when I update the blog.  It's on the right side of the page as : Follow by email :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

My first day of PT

My plan when I was to see the Physical Therapist (PT) was to get some exercises to do at home and not really go back very much because I figured that I already have so many appointments for myself and then all the ones for the kids. I'm just getting appointmented out. If that's a thing. Lol But I wanted to keep an open mind because I have pain in my low back on and off depending on what I do and a constant pain in my heel, partially from all the gained weight due to steroids and chemo treatments. It hurts terribly and causes fatigue more than I'd like. Well today, I saw a wonderful Physical Therapist and she was able to make my heel not hurt for awhile. She also loosened up the muscles in my hip and made me feel lighter. I was so excited and thrilled and surprised for this to happen that I actually started to tear up. At first it was because as she was working it really, I mean REALLY hurt. But when she was finished and I got up to walk around, I couldn't believe how amazing I felt. I was actually thinking that unless God removed all the pain or I started taking pain meds daily, I would be stuck with the pain. NOPE. I was praising God and thanking my PT and told her that I'd do my stretches and come back the 2 times each week to get better.

So Friday I go back. The pain free walking lasted for a few hours but I know that it will get better. I will continue healing just like God told me.

On another note, please pray that I can get some resolutions. I appealed to our insurance for them to cover some charges with the chemo treatments and they denied my appeal. I am bummed because things like this shouldn't be a problem. It's quite frustrating. I am thankful that the hospital will give me a discount but it adds up quickly. I just have to remind myself that God will provide and all will turn out just fine.

In the meantime, I'm going to work at getting myself more flexible and stronger. 

Jeannette :)

Monday, February 29, 2016

Seek and Find

Have you ever played hide and seek? It can be a fun game but it can also be frustrating if you are playing with very good hiders and in a place that is big and has many good hiding places.  Have you ever played with a small child?  They often times can't stay put long enough to be found. They giggle when you are getting closer or they hear you looking for them. Their excitement just can't be contained. And I'm not sure if you ever noticed but if you are taking turns hiding and seeking with them, they often go and hide in the exact same place that you just hid. I find it cute & funny because they figure it was such a good hiding place for you that they should try it themselves.

Well, last week I was spending a little time with God and the Holy Spirit stirred up the verse Jeremiah 29:13
 It had been bopping around my head all day Thursday as I was taking care of my 9 year old since she broke her collar bone. While we were in the ER for 3 hours and while we waited for her medicine to be ready at the pharmacy. And while I ran a few errands to get her school work and make arrangements for her when she went to school today. And then when I picked up my other 2 school aged kids. I was rather tired from all the running around and waiting but this verse did not leave me. Then when I was talking with my sister, I shared this verse with her. I told her I couldn't remember where it was found but what she shared with me, it seemed that I should share this verse with her. She said, "thanks, I needed that." I told her that it's neat how the Holy Spirit works and that I was glad I could encourage her because in truth, that actually encouraged me too. And the verse seemed to be a good fit for both of us with completely different situations.

Today as I was listening to a teaching about God's Best for us, the teacher started out with the verse that many people know. Jeremiah 29:11  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  As powerful as that verse is, when you understand who it was written to, I think it speaks even more. It was inspired by God and Jeremiah the prophet wrote it. It was at the time when King Nebuchadnezzar had defeated Jerusalem and had taken the people captive. These people probably thought that God had forgotten about them but in truth, they were the ones that had forgotten what God had taught them, what he had done for them and they needed to know that God still loved them and had great plans for them. I think it is in the New King James Version it says "an expected end".  Which means that it was a better ending then they could ever hope for. What God wanted to remind them was that they needed to turn back to Him and call on Him and He would be there to answer. He didn't just up and quit like some kids do when they get tired of playing Hide and Seek. No, He never goes away but us silly humans seem to forget the things He has done for us and we turn away. We stop seeking Him. We quit looking for Him. I'm not saying that seeking Him is a game but since most of us have played that game, we can relate. It's rather annoying to play with someone that quits right in the middle. Thankfully God loves us so much that He will overlook that we quit. He's glad that we jumped back in and started seeking Him. We need to keep seeking Him and if we stopped, the super cool thing is, we can start seeking Him again and He will be there for us.

So the 4 verses read:

No matter what you need to seek God for, keep doing it, you WILL find Him. Sometimes it takes me quieting myself over and over before I hear what God has for me. It's not usually an audible voice that I hear but it is usually quite distinctive in my spirit and I know it's God. I have had some times where I thought I heard something and then wasn't sure and He confirms it for me by having someone share a Word with me or I read it in a devotion or hear it in a teaching and it cements it that it was God.  I hope that you will keep seeking God. I believe that you will find Him!

Jeannette :)