Friday, January 22, 2016

Gotta Keep on Trusting Him

Well the holiday and fun family time is well over. The kids are back into the school routine...well sort of until they all got that stomach bug that was going around. Then they each took turns missing a day or 2 of school and I was kept busy taking care of them all. Adam even ended up getting hit & could actually use your prayers as he's still trying to recuperate completely from it. It has zapped his energy and I have a feeling this weekend is going to include a lot of rest for him.

Medical wise things have been going pretty good for me. Sort of in a "holding pattern" I guess. I am still having to go in and get 2 kinds of chemo for the Her2 receptors every 3 weeks but that is going mostly good. There have still been a few side effects but overall I am good and actually gaining more energy with each day. It feels good to accomplish things around the house a little more like I used to. It may seem trivial but keeping the laundry caught up and making meals without being so exhausted feeling is nice.  Last week when I had the treatment, it actually made me cold but was also on that 18 below day so that didn't help. I will have to be sure to layer better next time. It's the first time I ran into that problem since I started this treatment plan at the end of May and I refuse to bring any of my own beautiful blankets or prayer shawls in because I simply don't want to have more laundry to do & it would have been exposed to far too many things to just continue using it in my home. I'm a little weird that way I guess but when they told me that I had to flush the toilet twice for 48 hours after a treatment, I just use extra caution for my hubby & kiddos. I could use some prayers because I have to appeal some billing for the treatments with the insurance company and would like some favor for a good response. Oh, I almost forgot. They drew blood for the tumor marker to be done. The last time it was done was in Nov and it was 49, this time it came back as 47 and the results I looked at said that under 38 is normal. :) To God be the GLORY! He's healed me and it's manifesting in more than this one way.

I haven't talked about it in awhile but I have continued to keep reading my Bible and am nearing the challenge of reading through the whole Bible. It has taken me nearly 2 years I think but that is okay. I have learned a lot so far and it isn't as though that was the only thing I have been doing for my quiet time. I've only got Revelations left. That's how close I am and for some strange reason, I've slowed down finishing it. I think perhaps I don't want it to end but that's so silly because if I desire, I can just start over again. Right? Do you ever have silly thinking like that?  I've also been reading a book titled "When Heaven Invades Earth". It's wonderful and powerful. Sometimes I read too fast as though I'm just trying to get to the end but with this book, I'm trying to absorb as much of it as I can. I read a little before going to bed and then pray and ponder on what I've just read. I feel as though I should go back and re-read it because it just makes so many great points and I want to remember as many as I can. I have it in the Kindle App and I love that because I can highlight and make notes as the Holy Spirit speaks to me. 

Please pray that I am able to self discipline myself to get back onto a reasonable sleep schedule. I need to be sure to take care of myself and I'm not using my time in the best way so I am trying once again to not be a night owl because my job as a wife and mother require me to be a daytime person. Thanks.  I don't know about you but there are many things I'm working on and what I keep reminding myself is to just keep trying and moving forward from where I'm at. Not worrying about how many times I have had to start something over again, whether it be to get to bed at a decent time or to eat healthier, or exercise or stick with the laundry, or have my quiet time with God each day, or stop some bad habit or start a good matter what it is, I realize that even if I fall off the wagon and have to start all over again say a million times, I'm still better off trying again then just plain giving up and saying its of no use.  So if you feel that you should work on a change in your life, it might be challenging, you may have to start over AGAIN but tell yourself that's okay and you'll do better. Start where you are and strive to do a little better each day. You can do it with God's help!

Since I've been doing a lot of laundry from trying to get rid of the germs making everyone sick at my house, I noticed that our dryer was making a new noise..and it was NOT the kind of noise that is good coming from a dryer. Instead of worrying what I'm going to do, I said a fairly simple prayer that went something like this. "Lord, I'm trying to make sure our laundry is done each day. I thank you for giving me the endurance and strength to keep up with it this week. You know our finances right now Lord and you also know what we have need of. Please provide us a dryer at the right time so we don't have to be without and I don't have to figure out what to do to dry everything. Thanks God for always supplying our needs. In Jesus' name Amen."  I was on FB and happened to see on the Garage Sale Site for our town that someone had a washer & dryer for sale. A good price too. I asked some questions about the dryer and didn't get much info. Then the next day I went to look for the post and it was gone. The lady had taken the post down & put up one just for the dryer and hadn't tagged me in the new post or answered the question I had from the previous one. I was a little annoyed. But I told myself aloud that maybe she doesn't really know how FB works or how to tag people or anything like that. SO I asked my question again and still no answer. I told myself that maybe she was at work or something & she'd get back with me soon but I could feel myself getting a little anxious that maybe I wouldn't be able to make this sale that I needed happen. And that's when it hit me...I Gotta Keep on Trusting Him, no matter the circumstances. Sooooooo.....I let it go, and it was a little bit challenging because someone after me had posted she'd take the dryer and I thought that my chances of getting this dryer had dropped to a BIG FAT ZERO.  Notice that I didn't say it was hard to let this go, nor that it was impossible?  Nope...didn't say it because I know with God ALL things are possible and challenging yes, but not impossible & I had to remind myself between thoughts that were rolling around in my head that I had prayed and asked God to provide and maybe He had something better in mind for us. I had to remind myself that I asked Him to provide and He's always been faithful to answer my prayers and take care of me. ALWAYS!!!

A little while later, my sister called and asked if I was looking for a dryer. I said why yes I am. She said, I have an extra one you can have. Thank you LORD not only for providing but for helping me to remember how faithful you are. You love me and will provide for me. Trusting God doesn't always look like this situation for me. You all know that. I've had to trust God that no matter what kind of Pet Scan results or blood tests or whatever I get, I know he's gonna take care of me & my family. It's not always easy but I can say it is SO WORTH IT. God has your best interest in mind too. He knows better than anyone what is best for you and saying YES to let him guide you is an amazing choice and journey. Will you take that journey with Him? He is already waiting for you to say yes. He's calling you to come, lay your burdens down at his feet and trust him. He loves you!