Saturday, October 7, 2017

Are you gonna look? What's the point? I like to smile. I like to laugh.

I've been trying to figure out how to share this story tonight. I was hoping that the details of how it all happened would just meticulously unfold from the wrappings of my brain but alas, it's taking some time for it to even get to just messily unfold. I'm tired. taking these meds has me all out of sorts as my body tries to adjust to 2 new chemo meds. it's odd because these 2 meds are taken via pill form instead of iv form and though there are some things I like about it, I'm kinda not a huge fan either but I'm just working with it as best I can.

My kids have Monday off of school!!!! I wanted to be a "FUN mom" and decided that we'd "Seize the Day!" and plan to do something fun, it might even cost money, and I don't care. I want to spend some time with my kids having fun for all 4 of them. One of the ideas I had come up with was maybe going to the Butterfly Conservatory on Mackinaw Island. We really wanted to make it to the Island this summer because, in all my years, I've never actually been to the Island. And I wanted to be the one to take my kids to the Island too. But my kids are really struggling to follow directions and obey without issue this weekend. I've explained until I'm blue in the face that we cannot do fun things if they aren't willing to follow directions. I can't be giving up a bunch of extra energy to keep them in line and safe. They have thrown in the towel.

It looks like we may just go walk around Mackinaw City to have some fun so I asked Braly if he still had the coupon from Robotics club to see if I was still valid for some Lego thing. He said no, he didn't think so. That was from like 2 years ago and what was the point, it wasn't like we'd ever get over there to use it anyway. We never do things he wants to do. It's always for the girls or medical stuff for mom. My heart sort of sank in sadness at his outlook. This mama started praying. And prayers were answered. God is concerned with ALL of you! He wants every single part of you and is so full of compassion to reach you!

So tonight I was reading my email and just sitting at the dining room table relaxing and thinking that I should start heading to bed soon. I reflected on the amazing deal I was able to get again from Joann Fabrics. The other day the had a 40% off coupon and then 50% off entire order or something like that. I had something similar and scored a great light I've had my eyes on. :) In the meantime, I started getting heartburn. I hate heartburn. It not only hurts but seems to take it's sweet ol' time working it's way out which usually means for me that I end up not going to bed for awhile and find something else to do to keep my body upright for the heartburn to go away. I sipped on some Kombucha tea and then headed to the basement to work on some laundry. There was plenty of stuff down there to mess with but all the hangers were left in the closet in my room where my family sleeps. So I walked around and picked a few things up here and there and put them away. I had not actually finished any one section in the basement when I was decluttering so there are plenty of things to do. I emptied a container and put the things away. I ended up sitting down & picking up a box of junk that had been sitting in the basement for awhile. As I pulled things out of it, I came across a business card. I'm so glad that I didn't allow the discouragement of my kids to get to me.  I do love to smile. I love to laugh, I'm gonna keep my healthy, positive outlook despite what comes my way and I'm going to certainly try to pass this view on down to my kids and anyone else that will listen to me.
Es muy importante!

Time for me to get to bed.