Friday, December 2, 2011

December 1st, 2011....A joyous and not so joyous day.

Yesterday was so busy, so wonderful, and then not so much.  It was over run with many appointments, vaccination shots for Morgan & mom as well as many emotions. Emotions filled with joy & then ones with anger & sadness. I didn't realize one day could hold so much in it.
As I pulled the curtains in my room back to look outside at what kind of day we'd have for travelling to Iron Mountain, I saw the beautiful, glistening, sparkling white snow that had fallen on our world. It was pretty but also meant that we'd have to leave a little earlier to leave enough time for anything we might run into.  I showered & woke the kids to get them ready. They were excited about the snow & about finding out if they were having a baby brother or sister.

Fast forward to the kids were on the bus, Morgan & I were ready to go. The power went out for some strange reason & we left for Iron Mountain.  We arrived a bit early for our appointment but the nurse took us right in to get our height & weight. I was having an appointment for the baby as I was 21 weeks 3 days. Morgan was having her 5 year check up since she will be 5 on Saturday. I know, where does the time go?  I can't believe it was 5 years ago already that we set off on a different kind of adventure of ups & downs after Morgan was born.  Morgan & I sat patiently in the room waiting for the doctor to come in. We read books, filled out the paper or "homework" as Morgan called it to assess whether she was at the level she needed to be for a 5 year old. The paper is for 4-6 year olds and she completed everything on it at her 4 yr appt so it was kind of just 'fun' to fill it out this time.  Then I looked at my watch & realized that we were running late. My ultrasound (u/s) appointment was for 11:30 on the 1st floor of the building we were in & it was almost 11:00.  Our doctor came in soon after & got us finished & sent us on our way & even had the receptionist call down to say we were on our way.  My sister Natalie met us in the waiting room soon after we walked in & I filled out a few papers. I invited her to watch the u/s & help take care of Morgan since Adam is so stinkin busy with work this time of year.  He felt terrible that he was missing the u/s but there wasn't much he could do. I felt bad for him too.

The technician went through & took 95 pictures of our little one.  They asked me a million and 1 questions to get all the information they needed & we were able to watch the u/s pictures on a HUGE screen tv. It was much better than craning my neck to try to see the small screen.  The doctor came in & asked a few more questions & looked at all the pictures.  She said that everything looked great.  Looks like we have a healthy little girl & pretty much sent us on our way.  We exchanged vehicles with my dad again & headed back up to the 3rd floor to get our vaccinations.  By the time we were finished it was 2pm our time & we were starving. Morgan & I headed to Subway to get some lunch & made some phone calls along the way to inform people & text people the news. Of course Adam was the first one to get a call.  I had promised to let Morgan look at the toys at Shopko but we were running out of time & I had told the kids that I would purchase an outfit for them to open to know whether it was a brother or sister so we hurried as fast as we could to get that done.  By the time we left Iron Mountain, it was questionable whether we'd make it home in time to get Gabby & Braly off the bus.  So I drove faster than normal but hit a bunch of slow traffic once I got near the casino & called a friend to wait for the kids to get off the bus & take them to her house for about 5 minutes.  They weren't there long & when then came running down the alley, they were so excited to find out what the baby was until......they opened the present & found it was girl stuff. Braly was completely hurt & Gabby was sad. It was kinda what I expected. Braly started crying but then wouldn't even come by me & pretty much told me it was my fault & he without saying he hated me...well he implied it.  It was horrible & made me feel really bad.  I thought after I spent some time with him that he'd be ok and he was for a little while but he wasn't done.  And then when Adam came home, well, it started all over again. The stuff they were saying hurt me & though they didn't really know it, I went to the basement to do laundry & cry.  I knew in my heart that they would come around but it hurt to see all these emotions flying around & here I am carrying this sweet little precious girl & felt like I was the only one who cared about her.  I finally got the kids to bed & went to bed myself. I had ENOUGH of the emotions, shots, travelling, rushing, etc that I cried out to God for strength & fell asleep. I didn't even wake up for my usual early morning bathroom break. I felt  much better this morning & asked the kids how they felt.  Braly already warmed up to having another sister & being the only boy.  I offered that he be the 1st sibling to hold her & he agreed. Gabby said she'd hold the baby last since Morgan has never gotten to hold a baby first & that made my heart feel blessed.  She's always so thoughtful, I almost cried right there.  Thank you God for giving me my children back. I know there will be times that Braly just needs a break from girls. I get that & will be more than happy to make sure he has some time away from the 3 of them.  He can hang out with Dad or Papa or his buddies.  But I don't know if he actually realizes how special he is to be the only boy. Obviously God thinks he can handle 3 sisters so here we go on a new adventure.  I am blessed & full of joy but also have a gazillion things to get done before Morgan's 5th birthday party tomorrow so I must finally run & while I'm getting things on my list done I'll be trying to come up with some names to talk about over the weekend. :)

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