Tuesday, January 28, 2014

January 28th, 2014

Woke up this morning feeling much better.  Thank you for your continued prayers.  A little tired since one of my Littles woke me up in the middle of the night & then I had a tickle in my throat & had a hard time falling back to sleep because I was coughing.  My friend came over to watch the kids since school was canceled again from the frigid temperatures but I still had to get my monthly shots and see the doctor today.  So I started the van in hopes that it would warm up even a little.  It really wasn't that bad in the van but walking to & from buildings was a bit cold.  And I had a hard time warming up once I got home.  Nothing a warm pair of jammie pants & slippers & a sweatshirt couldn't cure. :)

As expected from the virus, I had lost a little weight for lack of keeping things in me. Nothing to be concerned about.  Got the port accessed, blood drawn, and then the doctor came in to see me.  He asked me a few questions & then allowed me time to go over my list with him.  We talked about the tumor marker number and he said that he wasn't concerned that the number had not changed. He said that it can take some time for that to happen.  Everything is very S-L-O-W in this department when one doesn't go by way of Chemo. He asked how the pain level was & I said most days I have little or no pain. He reiterated how important that was and said that it is a better indication that things are moving in the right direction than anything else.  He seemed pleased with that.  We will talk about surgery probably in the summer.  He said that chemo reduces the tumor size in like 12 weeks but when hormone therapy is used, it takes longer. So this is normal and seem to be doing good.  Blood was drawn to measure my calcium, which is still normal but has gotten lower, so I'm to make sure I take my calcium all the time.  I actually decided to up it a little to see if that helps.  They also measured my estrogen. Not sure how quickly that one changes but our aim is to get that number to 0.  So prayer for those numbers to be good and get even better is appreciated.  I know some people ask me what they can pray for specifically and those are just a few things.  All in all, it was a pretty good report today and I am thanking God for that!  To Him be ALL the glory!
Proverbs 4:20-22
My child, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.

Proverbs 3:7–8

Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones.

May each of you have a sweet sleep and a lovely tomorrow with a fresh new start.
~Jeannette :)

Monday, January 27, 2014

Under attack by the enemy

January 26, 2014

Have you ever felt like when things take a turn for the worse in your life, that it brings even more bad things?  It can be from people making choices that are out of your control, it can happen because of the fallen, sinful world that we live in, or it can happen, because the devil is attacking.  There are verses in the Bible that speak of this spiritual warfare that we battle as Christians.  These are not all of the verses the Bible contains about spiritual warfare but here are several to read & think about.

Ephesians 6:12 - For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].

Ephesians 6:11 - Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Ephesians 6:13 - Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

1 Peter 5:8 - Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walketh about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour

James 4:7 - Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 2:19 - Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.

Hebrews 2:14 - Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil;

2 Corinthians 10:4 - (For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

2 Corinthians 10:3 - For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:

John 8:44 - Ye are of [your] father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

Matthew 18:18-20 - 18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Matthew 6:13 - And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

Matthew 4:24 - And his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them.

Matthew 4:1-25 - 1 Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.
11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.

So what does all this have to do with what is going on?  Well, you all know how I've been trying to spend more time reading & learning from God's word to help me through this journey.  It has been rough this last week.  Morgan woke up early Sunday morning last week throwing up.  YUCK!!!!  I really dislike throw up.  She was finally all better by about 7 or 8 pm that night but I couldn't send her to school on Monday.  Then Wednesday, Braly went to school but I had to go pick him up, he got sick at school.  :(  I felt bad for him.  When I was about his age, I remember throwing up at school and it was awful.  Needless to say, he was fine later that day but then Sadie woke up at about 3am Thursday morning & threw up until about 5 or 5:30am. I had to sleep on the floor with her, right next to her because she was still half sleeping when she'd throw up & I was concerned that she's swallow it or something & get hurt.  I got the girls up for school & got them ready but as soon as they were out the door, I went to sleep on the couch & let Braly stay home & he helped watch Sadie.  Thankfully, she was completely normal the rest of the day and Friday the kids didn't have school so I slept in and then got up to get things ready for the day & for the Thirty-One party I was determined to have on Friday evening. 

A few friends gathered for my party & we had a fun time together.  Saturday was quiet & relaxing but Sunday morning, Gabby woke up throwing up around 6am. I really thought we were done with all of this.  I took care of her all day, missing church again, but determined that Satan would not win this battle. I turned on a cd of a sermon from a good friend & listened to the message.  It was GOOD and exactly what I needed to hear!  Made it through the day but around 10pm after getting Sadie to sleep, I started having trouble.  I spent the next few hours running to the bathroom and even passed out at some point in the bathroom from a stomach/intestinal virus.  I spent all of today (Monday) sleeping & resting.  I am feeling much better but I can say, holy moly, that devil is trying something hard to attack my family to get me to quit and I WILL NOT!!!!  Prayers to stop these attacks would be much appreciated. 

 The other night before bed, Braly started helping me look for a picture that we could print out of the Armor of God so we can put it on each day.  I'm not sure if we'll use the ones I've included in this message but wanted to share something with all of you.  I've read the whole book of Ephesians a few times in the last few days.  I'm looking forward to the devil giving up on us.  But we must be doing something right since he keeps attacking us so much in the last week.  Be blessed friends.  I need to get some more sleep so I can get my home put back together tomorrow.  Our kids have another canceled day of school because of the freezing temperatures and I've got an appointment so I'm off to bed to get some more sleep.  Oh, and I'm not sure what is up with the crazy colors of the fonts and I simply don't have time to try to fix them. Sorry.  Hope this post even makes sense. might need to make a note to myself not to write when I am exhausted. haha

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

January 21, 2014

I have been pouring over the Bible, a LOT, for the last several days.  I'm talking more than just a devotion that I read & think about for a few minutes & then think about a little later in the day if I remember.  There has been something that has been bothering me.  I always considered myself to have a lot of faith. I've seen God work in my life many times and believe that he is greater than anything else.  But for some reason, this tumor has really been bothering me lately.  The size and look of it & how it feels, so the physical part of it, and I realize that I am allowing my flesh, my 5 senses to rule my thoughts.  That's not what I am supposed to do. I have learned different over the many years of following Christ.  There have been times that I have had to really trust God and I did.  Most times, I have had some hesitation. As you may have experienced yourself at times. Unbelief or hesitation, ya know what I'm talking about right?  I could chalk it up to being human but really, that's not a good enough excuse.  Yes I am human but I want my eyes to be so focused on Jesus that I could walk on water like Peter (Matthew 14:22-33), or the Woman I talked about before that had the blood issue (Matthew 9:20-22, Mark 5:25, Luke 8:43-48), and most recently I was reminded of the Centurion officer who believed in Jesus' power to heal that he told Jesus, he need only speak the words & his servant would be healed (Matthew 8:5-13).  But what happened when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus?  The natural thing, he started to sink.  I am seeking out God's guidance in my life and how to receive my miracle.  I am determined to learn and I have discovered that I have a bit of unbelief in my heart that seems to be canceling out the faith that I have that God has a complete healing for me.  You might say, well that's understandable or it's only natural but that's the thing. I am trying to receive something that is not of the natural order, it is supernatural, and so I can't allow those doubts, or unbelief that come with the flesh or with the natural part of being a human to affect me.  I have been seeking how to get rid of this fleshly human nature and I felt led by the holy spirit to fast & pray & read God's word on Sunday.  How does one fast & pray, well, I think there are several different ways to do it. I just allowed the Spirit to lead me.  I know that the Bible says not to be showy when you fast & pray & that's not the reason I'm sharing this.  I'm sharing to show an example of how God used the Holy Spirit to nudge me to do this and what happened.  So on Sunday, I woke up & didn't eat breakfast. Since Morgan was sick, I was bummed to miss church but thankful that Morgan & I had attended a prayer & praise the night before with our church. I began praying for God to reveal to me where my unbelief came from (identify the problem), reading my Bible, sang & had planned to turn a sermon on but didn't end up doing that until Monday.  Lunch still had to be gotten for Sadie. Morgan couldn't keep anything down & Adam took the older 2 to church, out to lunch, & to pick up a few groceries.  I was extremely thankful that dinner was brought to us.  By about 6pm I finally felt like the hangup was that I have fear. Fear that I won't receive my miracle.  So I began praying for God to remove that fear and the verse "Perfect love casts out all fear" came to me.

1 John 4:18-19 (NRSV)

18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. 19 We love because he first loved us.

 Where does perfect love come from?  Jesus, of course so that's why reading the Word of God has been so important to me.  I have to immerse myself in God's word so that I know, that I know, that I know, deep within my heart, without a doubt that God has healed me.  And that I believe will allow me to receive my miracle & then it will be manifested (seen with the natural senses).

In case you're wondering, Morgan was completely well by about 7pm Sunday evening. I kept her home yesterday because of school rules so she & Sadie had kind of a fun play day.  I am feeling quite well. I went for 3 days without taking any pain meds. Not even Tylenol or Advil until last night.  I am determined to be positive and say only positive things & not complain about anything because I know that words are powerful, there is life & death within words.
Proverbs 18:21 (NAS)
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

So I will speak positive.  If you pray, I could use prayer for God to help change my  heart, to help me overcome the fear, the doubt, that stands in the way of my healing being received.  

I was talking with someone today and while talking with her, I remembered the miracle that I received when I was pregnant with Braly.  I had been having cramping, & after miscarrying our first child, then having Gabby, I was scared.  I had gone to the doctor & they had hormone levels drawn so they could see my numbers. A few days later they were drawn again.  I remember on a Friday, the doctor called to ask me whether I had any bleeding. (Sorry if this is TMI)  I said no & that the cramping had lessened.  She then told me that she was sorry to say that my numbers had dropped significantly and that I would probably miscarry the baby over the weekend.  WHAT???  How could this be?  I sobbed & sobbed & then remembered the peace I had felt God give to me a few weeks prior to that when I had been praying for us to have another baby.  I felt like He had said, everything would be okay, he'd bless us with a baby.  And then this was happening.  I pulled myself together, sat up, put my hands on my belly, & I prayed something like this, "Baby, you will grow strong and healthy in Jesus' name, because by his stripes you were healed. And God told me that we'd have a baby, I don't care what the numbers say, they are wrong, because God is not wrong!"  I ended up going in on Monday for more blood to be drawn and the numbers came back much higher.  God healed our baby, and it didn't matter what the doctors said.  I have proof, because he's 9 1/2 years old now and very healthy.  God brought this memory back to me to remind me that I had complete belief in him back then & He can get me there again so that no matter what the doctors say, I will be completely cured from cancer and that my bones that had been affected will also be healed.  I look forward to the day that I get to share the good news of the manifestation of the healing of my body.  God is so, so good.
Jeannette :)

P.S.  I am going to try to update every other day or every 2 days.  I know many of you keep asking how I'm doing & this journey has sure been filled with a LOT of stuff going on so far. I think that this may help you stay connected and me keep accountability to staying in God's word as well as being positive in thinking, words, & actions. :)  Until next time!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Numbers are In & God is working in our life in a major way!

Numbers are in.  It has been nearly a week since I got the numbers back for the tumor marker.  I didn't intentionally keep them to myself, in fact, I have shared them with many in person but haven't quite found the time to come on here to share.  I have only had this lab drawn twice that I am aware of. The first time it was 200 and this time it was 205.  Before I said anything, the nurse told me that even though the number has gone up a few digits, they consider it to have pretty much stayed the same.  Okay I thought, well I was really hoping & praying that the number would have dropped significantly but it didn't.  Was kinda bummed about that but reminded myself that I choose to trust God and my Hope is in HIM.  Those that I shared the number with told me that they thought it was good.  That it probably means that the cancer has stopped growing because it didn't really increase. Yay GOD!  And a friend shared with me that even when her dad was free and clear of cancer, his tumor marker number didn't come down to normal levels right away.  So I decided, it didn't matter to me what the number was, like my necklace says, I will Trust God!  And that is exactly what I am doing.

Much has happened since the last time I was able to share.  After we got home from Christmas with family, our son Braly, decided he was ready to move back into his room.  We've been raising our kids to be close to each other & lean on each other, especially in hard times (which is why it kinda breaks my heart every time they fight & are mean to each other or 2 of them exclude the 3rd).  Well, ever since I was diagnosed, Braly didn't want to be alone in his room, him being the only boy & all, so we moved his bed into the girls' room and he has been sleeping in there since.  I hope he doesn't mind me sharing this.  It has been good in some ways for all of us.  It has been somewhat convenient for us to put them to bed with them all being in the same room and at other times, it is downright difficult because if they start talking, it can be harder to get them all to sleep and if someone isn't sleeping well, then perhaps none of them truly did & they all seemed to catch the same colds faster & easier (though I don't really know if proximity had anything to do with it.) Anyway, Braly decided it was time to move back into his room so he started cleaning it & preparing it for what he had made his move in date.  He even hauled the vacuum upstairs and vacuumed his carpets.  I was in the living room and I heard the vacuum turn on, then off. Then on, and off again.  I was wondering if they were goofing around & trying to break our expensive vacuum so I went upstairs to check on things and when I walked into the room I did not expect to find my son standing on a chair carefully taking all his Star Wars figures off each shelf, asking one of his sisters to turn the vacuum on, getting all the dust off the shelf, then having one of them turn it off and painstakingly placing each character back on the shelf in a nice, neat line.  I think he may have even categorized each shelf though I didn't take the time to figure out his system.  Needless to say, I was impressed.  After he cleaned his room up, he asked me if I would help him some more.  He wanted to move his shelf around in his "Boy Cave" and explained what his goal was. I gave him some options and over a few days (it might not have taken me that long in previous years because I simply love organizing & having a fresh start to the New Year helps motivate me) we moved his toy shelf to a completely new location  under his bed which without the bottom bunk below makes it more of a loft.  We placed all his Lego containers on the top so Sadie couldn't get to them as easily & placed some of his put together objects like a helicopter & ship on a top shelf under his bunk.  We went through all his bins & put the toys back where they belong and then finished cleaning & decluttering the "Boy Cave".  We gave the whole room another vacuuming and he decided to move back into his room a week earlier than his original plan.  He's thrilled to be back in there though some nights its harder for him to fall asleep.  God created him to really enjoy being near people so being in a room alone can be hard at times.  He's such an amazing & spectacular boy though. I sure am glad that we were blessed to have him in our family. :)

I love organizing things & was able to purchase a few containers to get a few more things organized.  This year, I concentrated on getting the kitchen put back together.  It has been out of sorts for months now.  Snacks, sweets, meds, all sitting on the counter and we don't have a ton of counter space in the first place.  I used containers to put snacks in them in hopes it would be easier for them to find their way back into the space and behind locked doors or up high so Sadie can't snack on things at her leisure that have little nutritional value for her growing body.  She didn't used to fancy the treats but that has changed in the last few months.  I finally found bins that work fantastic for all the meds & vitamins we have in this house.  I have yet to print & attach labels to them but at least they are divided into categories & are easy to find & use.  And when I open the cupboard to get something out, it doesn't fall on the floor or make me go crazy looking at the mess.  It is very pleasing to the eyes. :)  We received some money for Christmas and decided to get rid of our microwave for cooking or heating up food and purchased a Toaster Oven with Convection for a healthier option.  I have read that it isn't the radiation that causes problems like everyone originally thought, but rather that the molecular structure of the food is changed.  And with the cancer not being hereditary, according to the genetic testing that they did on me, it must be something in my environment and so I am starting to learn how to use a toaster oven to reheat things quicker than waiting for our big oven to heat up.  I am also teaching the kids how to use it as we go along. It is going to be an interesting experience since they have to use oven mitts & be very careful not to burn themselves. But I have every confidence that they will get the hang of it (so will I) and the food will taste better & we will be healthier with this option and it won't take that much longer to heat our foods up & it will be fun.

I have kept up my prayer time with God (it's something I really, I mean REALLY enjoy doing) and I have been doing a decent job reaching my goal of spending time in His word daily.  After going through the last few blog entries, I realized that I have not shared some of the neat things that God has been doing & so I want to share.  I promise you, it will be long, but I think it is well worth it.  The day after my appointment, a relative sent me a prayer for me to pray.  I don't know that I will share the prayer here but I can tell you this, I read that prayer with faith, confidence, and belief & as I read it, I had goosebumps all over.  I actually copied it & pray it often.  I do that with many of the prayers I receive.  Anyway, the next day I remembered that I was sent a link to a site that had some teachings on healing.  I found the link, went to the site, and kind of quickly scrolled through some of the testimonies about healings that had happened & people were sharing.  One caught my eye so I clicked on it and read.  It was very touching & talked about a young boy, very close to the age of our Sadie when his parents found out he had cancer all over in his body.  He received treatment for months & didn't seem to be doing as good as the doctors had hoped when his parents started listening to a teaching seminar about healing. It was titled "God Wants You Well".  There were things that really spoke to me in their story and so I started looking into this teaching & I of course started praying for God's direction with this.  I wasn't sure whether this is the direction He wanted me to go or not so I prayed.  A few days later, a friend of mine emailed me and was encouraging me and she used the phrase "God wants you well".  Coincidence?  Not to me. More like confirmation that I should start listening to it but there was a bit of fear & perfectionism in me that made me wonder whether I should or not.  There are like 5 parts to this series and each are about 2 hours a piece.  Where was I going to find 2 hours to sit & listen & take notes in my day.  So I didn't start it for like 2 weeks.  I finally told myself that there was nothing wrong with listening to it in parts, whether it be 10 minutes, 15, or even longer if I could manage the time.  So I turned it on.  I'm the kind of person that learns best when I take notes in color (imagine that lol).  And that's exactly what I started doing.  I am about 20 minutes into the teaching & am already learning & being encouraged & had something else be confirmed for me.  Last week I was explaining something to my kids about how sin is sin no matter what it is.  God doesn't place degrees of badness on things, whether it is a lie, stealing, or murder, sin is sin.  And when I was telling them this, I believe that the Holy Spirit revealed to me that sickness is the same. It doesn't matter if it is a headache, common cold, cancer, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, fibromyalgia, or whatever, sickness is sickness.  And then when I started listening to the healing series, the pastor said the same thing.  It's so cool how God works!!!!  I am seeking in the Bible and praying for God to guide me to read & understand what he wants for me to learn. I am looking to spend as much time devouring His word that I know exactly what & how to pray.  And I am excited to be learning & have this hunger for the word of God!  When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I prayed that God would give me the faith & belief of the woman in the Bible that touched Jesus' garment & was healed.  I only told my sister that I was praying this and never expected what happened last week to happen.  My sister doesn't live in the same town as me and she doesn't know the friend that messaged me to tell me that when she has been praying for weeks, when she thought of the story of the bleeding woman that was healed, she immediately thought of me.  She didn't want to bring false hope nor did she know why she was supposed to share this with me but she did last week. That's when I told her that I had only told 1 person how I had been praying to have faith like that woman.  What does it mean?  I take it to mean that I am to continue to seek God, learn from his word, and to have a faith that I will be healed.  I thank each one of you reading this blog that have been praying for me and for my family.  We are doing well. (though if you asked our kids they might not fully agree since we took away all screen time this week for the older 3 to see if it will help their attitudes toward each other lol).  God hears each prayer that is offered up and I have been praying for many of you that have expressed needs.  This morning, Gabby brought Sadie into our room because she was awake at like 3am or so.  It wasn't until nearly 4am that I had enough of her climbing on me and pouncing on Adam's head & that I was able to actually wake up enough to carry her downstairs to get her some milk and lay on the couch with her to help her fall back to sleep.  As I waited for her to calm down & fall asleep guess what I did?  Yup, I prayed.  Do you know that I cannot ever remember a verse popping into my head as clearly as one did this morning to me.  I repeated it over & over again because I wanted to be sure to remember it after I awoke and to share it with you.  And what I didn't realize until I looked it up today was that it is only the second half of the verse.  The part that was as clear as day & what I thought about all day long was "greater is he who is in me, than he that is in the world."  ahhh....I LOVE that!  Where are those cool emoticons when you need one?  Right???  Here is the full verse.

1John 4:4  You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

So uplifting, encouraging, amazing, positive...just what I needed!  God is greater than anything and everything in this world.  He's greater than all sickness, even cancer.  I started looking up a few other verses and these are a few I thought I'd share.

Romans 8:31
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

And God is for us. After all, He loves us so much that he sent his son to die so that each and every one of us could, if we choose, ask for forgiveness and go to heaven one day to be with God.  I don't know about you but my one and only son Braly means a heck of a lot to me.  I don't honestly know that I could sacrifice him, even for 1 person.  That had to be soooo hard for God, as a parent, to make that choice.  I know sometimes, my husband & I have to make difficult choices for our kids because we know that it's what's best for them.  And that doesn't involve their death.  So it must have been really difficult for God to make that choice.  But he did it because he loves us so very much that I'm not sure we could ever comprehend the love he has for us.  Then I was lead to read these two verses about the Holy Spirit, whom I believe has been helping me learn more lately, because I am being even more of a willing vessel, more so than I was before.

John 14:16-17 (Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit)
16"I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; 17that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you. 

Totally amazing to me how God works and reveals special things to us when we are seeking Him & His guidance.  I love that I am craving His word and that I have been blessed with not only the "God Wants You Well" series (which you can download as a podcast from itunes for free, yes free from Andrew Wommack) but a few people from our church have given us some CDs to listen to of other pastors on healing.  I have always believed in healing but I am learning more about it now and I can't wait to share even more.

I pray that you are blessed by the words I have shared.  That God is working in your life the way you need Him to right this very moment.  I pray that you are receptive to what He has in store for you and that you will share what you are learning from His word.  His word is truth, it is life, and Jesus is living and wants to be a part of your everyday right now. I pray that God continues using me to share His love for you and that you will feel His presence in your life.  I thank you once again for the prayers, encouraging words, compassion & kindness you show our children as their teachers, delicious meals, love, and help each of you have blessed us with during this time.  It has been 2 1/2 months and so many of you have been so faithful in helping us in many ways this whole time.  Thank you doesn't seem enough so that's why I pray for each of you.  Until next time....

P.S. Be sure to sign up for the emails so you know when my sporadic writing actually happens & is posted. LOL  Top right of the page is the place to enter your email.  There might be a confirmation email sent to you, if so, be sure to click the link in it.  I'm not sure exactly how it works as I haven't signed myself up. haha :)