I can't believe it has been something like 2 weeks since I have shared anything. I guess perhaps due to the busyness as well as not wanting to complain about anything, I have been having a hard time finding positive things to say so I have not said anything. Remember that saying your mom used to tell you, "If you haven't got anything nice to say, say nothing at all."? Well that may be what I was doing because I was taught that phrase.
I have been reading this book by Francis Chan called Crazy Love & this last week we had to read Chapter 3 titled "Crazy Love". We have been discussing this in our small group that meets on Sundays but Adam & I are new to the group & I am not quite comfortable enough to just start blabbing yet...but I'm close. Plus, I'm trying to keep things in perspective like I stated above & guarding my tongue like it says in James. I have been getting more achy with the hormones circulating in my body preparing for our baby's arrival & probably somewhat crabby. Anyway, I thought that perhaps I would share about how I came to discover or "get it" in regards to God's Crazy love for us. It was not just a single moment but a culmination of events in my journey of life & seeking God.
I've known the love and affection and discipline of my parents ALL my life. In fact, I don't ever remember even hating them like some kids/teens do. I didn't always agree with them but I always knew that they did the things they did because they loved me & wanted what was best for me. *As a parent myself now, I understand that concept even better & wrote my parents a letter to tell them thank you* But even though I knew that love, and it seemed so unconditional, I was still missing some understanding about love. My parents were my parents so I thought they loved me just because they were my parents. Then I met Adam & he loved me with a choice; his choice. So I experienced another part of love but the puzzle wasn't quite compete yet. Even though Adam loved me & I loved him, I still never knew the love one has for a child. When we were blessed with children, I was completely amazed at the love I have for each one. I don't love one more than another but I love them each so much in individual ways. As their mom, I do so many things for them on a daily basis & I think that I'd do just about anything to protect them. We often make choices that make us "unpopular" with our kids for a bit because they don't understand but since we know it is with their best interest in mind, it helps make it a little easier to deal with their dislike of us for not allowing them to do certain things.What gets me is how much MORE God loves us that he gave his son for us. He knew what his son was going to have to go through. The hurts & pains physically were only one thing, the temptations, the hurt of betrayal, the hurt of name calling, rejection, etc. Jesus experienced them all & God knew it was what had to be done because he knew it was the best for us, the ONLY way for us to get to heaven to be with God some day. God also knew that his son would be able to endure all those things & that he would follow through with it because he had a love for his father unlike any other. I've heard people say they can't stand when their kids are sick because they don't like to see them suffer. And I get that but it reminds me how God knew how much his son would suffer and he sent him anyway because it was best for us....for me....for you! That's definitely CraZy LoVe! And it's so neat that he has that love for each one of us! I'd sure love to have that kind of love FOR God and not just the "stuff", like the gifts and promises he has for me. I feel that everything I've experienced in my life so far has helped me gain a little better understanding of who God is. He's so complex and not at all one dimensional, yet he made the way to him so easy & even a gift to us. I am thankful that each step of my life, the journey and all the experiences I've had with love have helped me gain a better understanding of God and the CraZy LoVe he has for each one of us. I hope that you too experience the unconditional love God has for you & that you will understand the depth of it.