Wednesday, November 6, 2013

PET Scan Results

On Monday November 4th. I received a phone call that nearly knocked the wind out of me.  One of my doctors told me that the Scan came back saying that cancer had invaded my bones. What??? How could this be? It certainly grew quickly.  It showed in my hip bones & in various places in my back. The doctor said that I would have an appointment with my 'body doctor' the oncologist on Tuesday as he would be in Escanaba.  I was not expecting to hear those results. I was hoping to hear, everything was clear & we would go ahead with our initial treatment plan.  This totally threw me for a loop. I tried to act as normal as possible for the sake of my kids but if you know my kids, you know they are not easily fooled & are quite intelligent like their daddy.  Sadie could sense something was off right away & tried to stay as close as possible to me.  The other 3 went about their business & I think were afraid to ask any questions.  We ended up having a late dinner that Adam picked up as he drove home. And to think I was actually planning on cooking some things that my mother in law had prepped for us.  Me cooking a meal for my family would have to wait until another day. I called my parents & told them. After talking with them I called my sisters & messaged a few other people knowing I would need some extra prayers to get through the night.  It ended up being a rough night in our house.  The baby kept half waking up crying. She finally ended up in our bed to help her sleep so we could sleep. Morgan was coming down with a cold and was coughing terribly. I ended up having to take her to the living room to give her a breathing treatment & had to wait until she was done, then tuck her back into bed. When I finally laid my head on my pillow again all I could do was pray until I finally fell asleep.  All the what ifs going through my mind were crazy. I want to trust Jesus through this whole thing but those results hit me hard.  I was exhausted but still got the kids up & ready for school. Then I laid on the couch to rest until the baby woke up.  I couldn't really sleep but tried to rest. The doctor office called to schedule my appointment at 1:45. That was a long time to wait.

At the appointment we went through the Scan results, didn't look at the images but things were explained a bit more than on the phone and we had to discuss a new treatment plan since the initial one would not apply.  Right now the cancer feeds off of estrogen. And since my body has been in a state of high estrogen after having Sadie & nursing her, we need to bring the levels down to zero.  That is done with a shot once a month. It will pretty much put me into menopause at the age of 37 and is supposed to put the cancer cells to sleep.  They can't remove them since they have attacked my bones but they can put them to sleep.  My doctor suggested that we could have a 2nd opinion but we didn't know if that's what we wanted to do.  After talking to a few others & them saying that we should get a 2nd opinion I started working toward that today.  I spent the morning resting, another less than stellar night of sleep to thank for that. And a mind racing. I was reading scripture and praying and I finally broke down & just sobbed.  My mother in law came to help out, made something for Sadie & me to eat & then she left. My parents showed up soon after and we talked. Cried a little, and decided, with texts to Adam, that I would go for that 2nd opinion in Ann Arbor.

The following is an except from the Guide to Metastatic Cancer "Moving Forward with Hope".  It starts out by saying something like, now that you've had a chance to process the news your doctor gave you here's what you need to know.

"But you'll soon see that life goes on-- even with metastatic cancer. Remember: Although it may not be curable, metastatic cancer is treatable, and you can live many years with the disease, just as you might with a chronic condition such as heart disease. So that special birthday, your child's wedding, the birth of your grandchild...don't count it out."

Today I spent grieving. As my dad said, "tomorrow we fight!"  I get that the cancer can wake up any time for any reason BUT God can perform a miracle and completely remove all cancer cells that the doctors are unable to. He can reverse the damage done to the bone. I believe in miracles and I'd really like to see a PET scan show that I am completely cancer free!  We still need tons of prayers.  We still need people who believe in miracles to hold us up in prayer, to fast & pray on our behalf, to call out to God to heal this earthly body of mine.  We still need help from those around us for tasks like laundry, yard work, picking kids up & dropping them off, meals, cleaning, etc  I do have pain in the areas of my hips and back where it has damaged the bone but I will not allow that to take me down.  I'm praying that I don't only get a few years with my family but several years to be with them & do God's work.  I'm not done with the tasks he's had me working on.  My husband needs prayer. Constant prayer as he processes everything & tries to make decisions for what is best for our family.  My children need prayer. They have what ifs too and a child shouldn't have to think about those what ifs if they don't have to.  So please keep praying.  God hears. God knows. And he most certainly cares about us.

Tomorrow I get the first shot to decrease the estrogen in my body.  And I hope to hear that we have an appointment in Ann Arbor next week. That means I'll be packing soon and travelling so I'm not sure how the updates will happen but my whole family needs your prayers. Encouraging words, cards, etc.  We need to continuously be lifted up and interceded for in hope & belief that God will answer with a miracle.  We may  not get back with all of you but we appreciate all that you do. There is power in prayer so please continue it.  Thanks so much!

One more thing. I was reminded of the story of Gideon from the bible during the time I was processing this information.  If you are unfamiliar with this story it is found in Judges 6 I believe.  Gideon was in charge of an army. He was told to send some of his soldiers back home.  He didn't have very many soldiers to begin with but he did what God told him to.  In the end, he had 300 soldiers to fight this massive army with.  The whole reason God did it this way was to show Gideon, the army, & everyone else that God is the one that won the battle, not Gideon, not the army because they were greatly outnumbered.  I know that God has a plan for me. I don't know what that plan is right now, nor do I always like the way it plays out but I trust God. I trust that he has my best interest at heart.  Perhaps God will use me to show a mighty miracle & bring more people into His Kingdom. A miracle that only HE could perform since the doctors say that this cancer is not curable but just treatable.  Just like he conquered the HUGE army that fought against Gideon's 300 men, he can conquer this cancer.  My hope is in Him and what He can do. Some days or times my family & I might lose site of this. That's where our prayer warriors, YOU all come in. Keep lifting us up in prayer, keep believing in God's healing touch, keep sending us scriptures to read & pray.  If you feel comfortable posting a prayer on Facebook for us to read, please do so. If you would like to send us one in a private message, please do so.  We read them all. I have been praying several of them over & over again. We are just unable to message back to everyone since we still have 4 kiddos to care for & things to learn & process.  We appreciate your time, your love, kind words, cards, prayers, & well, everything you are doing for us.  We are very blessed!!!

26 comments:

  1. Oh Jeannette, you have been on my heart and in my mind all day. Your words make Jesus look beautiful. Rest assured, you are being lifted up before the throne.

    Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

    -Erin

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  2. I don't know you, but saw your posts on Kimberly Wender's post. Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers. Your blog is inspiring and your strength and attitude shows you're ready to win this. God Bless.
    Stacey Pickett

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  3. could some one post your address please..you are in my prayers ,can,t stop thinking about you,and praying for you and your family..Linda A

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  4. You might only ever know me as a sister in Christ, but I will be lifting your family in prayer. Now, tomorrow, the days to come..anytime the Lord lays you on my heart. Casting all you anxiety on Him , for He cares for you. How awesome that He cares for us, thinks of us, loves us, delights in us!

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  5. Jeannette, just found your blog and wanted to share that I had a recent scare with Inflammatory Breast Cancer, a rare and difficult to diagnose type of breast cancer that has a very poor outcome. Upon symptoms starting I made an appointment at U of M because they have an IBC center. Fortunately all my testing was negative but I just wanted you to know how wonderful their Breast Cancer center was; you will be in very good hands and can be confident in their opinion. I will be thinking of you...

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  6. I read this in tears....I also hear an amazing young woman assembling an army of intercessors...A General you are Jennette....calling in the forces to find their place to lay hold of Jesus on your behalf. Peace is what I pray for you and your family....so every decision can take place to speak louder then the "what ifs"....strength to you, Adam and your children......May His direction and rest in Him be your portion....His miraculous power to you...<3

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  7. Many prayers for you and your family.. Hoping for the best for you all!
    Tiffini galik

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  8. Jet - So much to process....I am in tears for you and your whole family. You are amazing.....your grief and your faith....it all goes together. God can heal this and I will pray for that. He will work even in this for the good for those who Love Him! You love him and I know that you will be faithful no matter what this road leads. My friend, I will pray to the One who loves you most! I will pray without ceasing! Love you! <3 Dawn

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  9. I am praying for you my dear... I seriously have no words other than you know i'm here for you and will do whatever I can for help that you need!!!! ((HUGS)) Prayers for you, Adam and the kids!!!!

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  10. Hey lady, well, as I sit here not able to form a coherent thought about all that has transpired for you over the last week or so, I turn to think about YOU living it, being forced to take it all in. You are just so incredible! This battle has been thrust upon you and then had the nerve to grow so much bigger at a ridiculously rapid pace these last several days, BUT as your dad said, you get out all those emotions and initial sadness, cry, sob, scream, kick something, collapse on the floor, whatever comes over you . . . and then fight like heck!
    So glad to hear about the second opinion, any info is good info and can't hurt to see different sides of things to best decided for yourself the paths to take. (I am not too far to Ann Arbor, you know anything less than 12 hours I consider right around the block LOL, so in all seriousness if you need any support while you are there, if you're bringing any kids and need help, etc. don't hesitate to reach out)

    Now, here's my unsolicited advice . . . through this process, because you are so loved, there will be many that will want to help, will be praying, will send cards, do helpful things, etc. . . . all of this outpouring of support may mean could feel a sense of obligation to ensure you thank people, respond to messages, keep us updated, etc. And possible guilt when you don't. So let me be the first to tell you . . . screw all of it!! ;) Do not feel you need to thank everyone, or respond to prayers, or update your blog, or post on facebook or any of that. This is about YOU and your husband, and your kids, and YOU YOU YOU!!! You take care of you. If it's something you are up for, have time for, and WANT to do then by all means go for it. Otherwise do not feel pressured to! Everyone is behind you 100% whether we get a novel a day, or just silence for a while. You are not allowed per order of me to feel guilty either, about what you do and don't do as far as thank yous, updates, etc. All that energy needs to focus on taking in all the love, prayers, and support and turn it into being a badass cancer-cell-killing machine!

    :friends (my memory says this is the one that there's two friends rubbing each other on the head with a heart in-between ;) )
    T <3

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    1. Im just going to anonymously 2nd everything she just said.

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  11. Will be praying for you and your family.

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  12. My family and I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. I am in tears thinking about how hard this must be for you and your family!! I will be praying every day!! Much love hugs and prayers!
    Carrie Depotie

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  13. Jeanette, Even in your darkest hour, you reflect the light of Christ. I know He is very close to you because you shine so brightly.
    Micah 7:7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

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  14. Our family is praying for u AMD yours god bless and miracles do happen just have faith

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  15. Jet, I know all to well what appointments, hospital stays and disease can do to ones mind. Just know you are loved, people are praying for you and this is a time to be a little selfish. We will not take it as that. You will be busy with appointments and treatment plans. We all know this. Again this is a time for you and your family, and all of your family are stuck to you like glue. I was just talking with another family member and we were saying what a "dolly" you are. I think of you and pray for you each and every day. Love and prayers. Charlotte

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  16. Jet, I know we've been out of touch for a long time. Tammy pointed me to your blog this morning, and right now I am lost for words. I am so sorry you found yourself at this situation. It's the unimaginable happening and ... I won't even pretend I know how you feel and how worried you must be about yourself and your family.

    You are a strong woman who was always able to get through the ups and downs, the NICU stays, the fear, the worries. I am sure you can find the power to fight in yourself again, and while the fear and worries will show up here and there, I hope your fighting spirit, prayers, and support of all the people who care about you will guide you.

    I know you are looking for a second opinion in Ann Arbor, but should you at any point decide to contact any of the NYC hospitals, please know that you have a place to stay for as long as you need. We still live about 45 minutes north of NYC.

    Keeping you in our thoughts,

    Lucie (together with Tom, David, and Erik)

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  17. You don't know me. I saw your story through my friend Tammy G on Facebook. I am sending you lots of healing vibes and prayers to you and your family. Please stay positive and strong. I know how easy it is to let the negative thoughts take over, but when one comes in, shove it right out!! Nothing but love and healing thoughts and prayers coming to you and your entire family

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  18. I began prayers as soon as I read your post on my daughter's site. I will keep you on my prayer list and you have chosen a great facility for a second opinion. Here is something I say daily.-----be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be known to God:and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

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  19. Dear Heavenly Father We ask that you take Jeanette and her family in your loving arms and hold them so close to you that they feel your heart beating, Love and guide their foot steps and calm their fears, give them a peace that surpasses ALL understanding. That while they are in the eye of this storm and chaos is all around that they are safe and sheltered from all the storms effects on them that nothing shall harm them. We are standing on your word Father the word you gave to Isaiah for your own Son that by His stripes we are healed. We thank you for a full healing that the cancer is gone for good and not just put to sleep. We rejoice with Jeannette as she receives words from her doctors that she is cancer free. In Jesus Name Amen
    Lauri Mason

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  20. Praying for you and your entire family!!!!

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  21. Tiffany Albaugh, a friend we have in common, shared your story with me. I am going to share my story with you and I hope it might help you to get through what you will have to go through.

    I was diagnosed with breast cancer in June of 2012. My cancer hadn't traveled outside of my breast thankfully. I can't imagine what it would be like to get the diagnosis you received. I will be praying for total healing from God for you. I believe God can heal. You keep believing that also. I had a mastectomy on my left breast and then I had chemotherapy. I lost all of my hair. I haven't had a hair cut since we shaved my head shortly after my chemotherapy started. My hair came back very curly. Before I had wavy hair. If you are going to buy a wig I would suggest a synthetic wig. I had a wig made of real hair and it was very warm and with the hot flashes it was very uncomfortable. I didn't have a synthetic wig but spoke to somebody else who went through breast cancer and she didn't like the way her hair came back in so she continues to wear a synthetic wig. She said it is not as warm as real hair. I have been taking tamoxifin since my chemotherapy was done because I hadn't started menopause yet. Same in your case, they didn't want the estrogen to carry the cancer to other parts of the body. This caused me to start having night sweats and hot flashes that would just wipe me out. There are other meds out there to help with the night sweats and hot flashes. Don't be afraid to ask for them like I was. I don't like the thought of taking any drugs but when I started to take it I was able to sleep again and wasn't so wiped out from the hot flashes. I know you are going to start getting shots to put you into menapause and your experience may be totally different than mine. It sounds like you are a fighter like me. Keep on fighting. Also, It is ok to feel weak. Just remember to go to God when you are feeling this way.

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  22. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I think the doctors were surprised at my reaction. After I had my mammogram and biopsy, I felt that the result was going to be cancer so I already felt I knew what they were going to say when I went in for the results. I really didn't have any reaction. I was at peace with the diagnosis, I believe because God gave me that peace. A short time after that I was going on with my daily activities and one morning after I had walked on my treadmill, took a shower, and was blow drying my hair, it hit me that I could die from this cancer. At that time, God spoke to me telling me everything would be ok. I started balling my eyes out, still blow drying my hair. My husband walked in and just looked at me. I told him what had happened and he gave me the tightest/longest hug he had every given me and told me everything will be ok. I believe one of the reasons I got cancer was to bring me and my husband closer and to bring both of us closer to God. After that, I felt at peace. God is awesome.

    Another thing that helped tremendously was how my church family stepped up and helped out. Don't be afraid to take the help. I don't have young children like you do but the help was not only helpful, it brought the realization of how much these people really do love me. I knew they cared for me but until I went through this I had never felt the "God Love" (what I would call it) from anybody. Keep your Godly friends and family close during this time. I also reached out on FaceBook for prayer from old friends who shared my story with their bible studies and friends. I had people who didn't even know me praying for me. I literally could feel all of the prayers that were being sent my way. I don't know how to explain that feeling to you but I believe you will feel it too. I don't know you but I will be praying for you for God's total healing.

    I had reconstruction done and now I am trying to find an idea for a tattoo to cover the scar on my left fake breast. I want something pretty and meaningful to look at when I get out of the shower. Probably more than you needed to know but I am an open book. You can contact me anytime and if you want to friend request me on FaceBook, I will accept your friend request. I try to keep up on what is going on there. I do a lot of praying while on FaceBook.

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  23. These are some versus I like for strength and peace:

    And he said, "O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes, be strong!" So when he spoke to me I was strengthened, and said, "Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me." Daniel 10:19

    That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love. Ephesians 3:16,17

    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

    Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

    The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, My stronghold. Psalm 18:2

    Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
    Philippians 4:6,7

    Lord, You will establish peace for us, For You have also done all our works in us.
    Isaiah 26:12

    I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8

    Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

    Sisters In Christ,
    Luanne Van Lannen

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  24. Hi Jeanette, you don't know me, this was given to me via a friend of mine. When I read your post, I thought I was reading my own story (except for the kids - - as mine are grown). I too have had breast cancer (Feb 2013) that metastized to my bones. (stage 4 terminal cancer). I too am in need of prayer warriors that will STAND with me for a miracle. As I read you post, I am encouraged and am thankful for the body of Christ who will fight this fight with us. We serve a BIG GOD and He is bigger than cancer. I put my total trust in Him for He is my refuge. I will take the STAND to be praying for you too Jeanette for COMPLETE HEALING! (In Jesus' Name). Stay Strong and Courageous and keep your eyes on HIM who is our Divine Healer and by His Stripes WE ARE HEALED!!!

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  25. Hi Jeanette--I read about your situation on a group FB wall so I just wanted you to know that many people you don't even know are praying for you. I highly recommend that you check out the following link and fill your mind with these wonderful healing testimonies, focusing at all times on what God's Word says about you and your health instead of what the doctors say or what you feel or whatever thought that comes into your mind that disagree with God. I am praying for your heart and mind to be full to overflowing with EXPECTANT FAITH--so much so that you look forward to every day as God continues to reveal Himself THROUGH YOU as being true to His Word in response to faith. Believe and receive what Jesus provided for you on the cross for He did it ALL on the cross! Here's the link: http://www.awmi.net/extra/healing

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